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This is one of those questions where you're never going to get a satisfactory answer, no matter what. Not from her, not from us. It didn't work out. Nothing good can come from pressing the issue. First, your freaking out isn't going to help matters. Be cool, wait around for a bit, and if she doesn't come after you let it all slide away and go back to just being acquaintances.

Let it lay there for a while. If she doesn't pick it up, she's not going to play, and you need to be prepared for that.

Why Women Act Hot and Cold: 7 Reasons Why She Is Suddenly Ignoring You

Maybe she has a lot of other things going on and hasn't been feeling so hot, and it has nothing to do with you. If she were a guy and you were a girl, my best guess would be that she er, he hooked up with someone else and feels weird talking to you now. But this is relatively pointless conjecture. There could be much more mundane reasons for this, and unless she wants to make them your business, they're not.

If she says it has nothing to do with you, take that at face value. If she needs space, back off. The best thing you can do right now is nothing. On preview, as usual, everyone else has nailed it. Reading between the lines, it seems like her interest in you peaked when she'd been drinking and wanted to fool around a bit.

4 Reasons Why She Gave You the Cold Shoulder

I'm just guessing here, but maybe it was safer for her to fool around strings free with someone from work, because she has a rule about not dating people she works with. Then you started liking her more than she liked you, so she's backing off now. This is all pure conjecture, obviously. If it were me, I'd just act happy to see her and not needy. Don't ask her out for now, back off a bit and see if she moves forward into the space you leave.

For some reason when I finished reading this, I was reminded of a few days ago when a guy I know said that everything you need to know about girls you can learn from watching The Hills hint: Just because I have the same parts in my pants doesn't mean I have the same things in my head as your ladyfriend. It's possible that there are things going on with her that don't involve you, but it is also possible that she is a psycho game player like those silly girls on MTV.

Maybe she didn't feel sparks with you at her house, or maybe she felt too many sparks and is afraid of getting hurt. She could think you don't like her as much as she likes you; she could think you like her too much and are smothering her. Anyone who reads what you wrote and claims they can see into her heart is kidding herself or himself. The only thing I am sure of is that you should tread carefully since this is an office romance.

Don't make herself or yourself a spectacle by doing anything that will make your working lives more difficult or uncomfortable. Continue to be friendly, but based on what she said I think you should wait for her to make the next move. It sounds like there are things going on with her. Regardless of her motivations or reasons behind her current behavior though, what's really important is what's important to you.

In this type of lop-sided relationship the power is always going to be in her court because she is setting all the terms. Do you want to maintain a sort-of relationship with someone who wants to keep you at a distance and can't make you a priority? If yes, pushing this won't accomplish anything except having her hold you off even more for not respecting her boundaries. If no, then I recommend focusing your energy somewhere else. I've had guys pull this on me, it's really not a gender-specific thing.

The Dating Game of Hot and Cold

For whatever reason, it seems quite likely that she's bailing. It's weak that she can't tell you straight out and is instead leaving you to anxiously wonder wtf is happening, but some people are lame like that and there's nothing you can do. It's gonna drive you nuts for a while, but try not to dwell.

And really, if she is the type to pull a selfish move like, be happy you didn't end up dating her for real. She's just not that into you dude But, no I mean this seriously, she's basically using you. She basically likes to feel wanted, desired, etc etc and you provide that. Either take this for what it is, an occasional drunken hookup with someone you can't depend on at all.

Or dial it back to being purely platonic, no late night texts, no making out obviously, limit contact outside of work, etc. I mean this girl enjoys toying with you, which is never acceptable even in no strings attached sort of situation, so I suggest you DTMFA. Seconding that perhaps she has a lot going on right now and isn't feeling so hot and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe her dog died or she has a UTI or her aunt was just diagnosed with cancer or she had a huge fight with her best friend or her ex-boyfriend called to mess with her head or her boss told her that if she spends her whole day on iChat she's not going to have a job much longer.

It's been a few days. Be nice, give her space, let her know that you're there if she wants to grab lunch or whatever.

Yeah, she's not into you. That totally sounds like something I a girl would have done in my lamer moments. She's trying to give you the brush-off but isn't very good at it - just like I was at one point. Forget about all that other stuff you guys did in the past: People change, they figure out what they want, they make mistakes, they move on. She was interested in you at one point, but isn't any longer.

Step 1: Take a deep breath

She had issues that made her unsure about whether she wanted to get serious with you. You passed up all your opportunities to push the issue, letting her call all the shots. And now, she has either become involved with someone else, or resolved whatever issue she had with you, but not in your favor, or probably both. Here's the key thing. Remember all those times when she made out with you in public, and then wouldn't take you home, and you didn't go out on a limb and tell her you actually really liked her, but that you needed things to either get more serious, or end, because you were too much of a fucking wuss?

Oh, sorry, I mean because neither of you wanted anything serious? Well, that was when you had a chance to change the course of events. Now, she's blown you off, and you should take it like a man. The fact that you think only women have the answer here is telling. Women are not much like men, but they are also not tsunamis that you just let happen to you. You have to actually stand up for your own interests once in a while. On the plus side, dating someone you work with is stupid, so you come out ahead anyway.

Umm for someone so damn wordy who seems to be a verb, could you elaborate on what the hell 'rolling around' means? Sorry to be blunt but did you fuck or what? As they say, often sex changes everything. Though it's probably true that regardless, you won't get a great answer here unless there's an internet clairvoyant in the audience. I think you should ask her what's up. None of us can tell you if she's interested or has cold feet or what.

Women are not a monolith, we all have different viewpoints, histories and ideas. This is exactly the type of experience I've had over and over, for months if not years, that has caused me to lower my expectations of people to zero.

You are a slave to your emotions. When you respond, you can take a step back, assess the situation objectively, and then choose the best course of action. If you let your fears take hold, you will be panicked, insecure, and on edge. And he will pick up on it and it will cause him to withdraw even further. Because men typically move toward what feels good.