If we're comfortably in the friend zone and simply looking for any restless signs from our guy friends, this is one where we can relax and continue being friends with. However, if we were hoping for more than just friends with him then we'll have to reevaluate our friendship and figure out what we actually need. Big brothers are nice and all but they aren't our boyfriends and if what we truly need and want is a boyfriend, we'd best start looking for him elsewhere and send big brother after him if things go south. Even if he's attractive and would make the perfect boyfriend, he might have more and better uses as our adopted big brother in the long run of things.

Every girl should have a hunky guy around to send after dead-beat ex-boyfriends for some intimidation. Plus if we're moving to a new apartment he can help haul our furniture inside for us. Some guys will be okay with being our friends and doing friend things with us but most of them will draw the line at doing "boyfriend" things when we're only friends.

For a guy, doing all the boyfriend stuff without the status and benefits of being a boyfriend isn't rewarding. It's an arrangement that benefits us more than him and therefore isn't balanced enough to be healthy in the long-term. According to Getting Out Of The Friend Zone , what constitutes as boyfriend things include frequent communication and always being there for us. If we take our problems to him to solve all the time, he might consider that boyfriend stuff too and stop solving all our problems. Also, telling him all about the guys we're dating isn't fun for him if he wants to be dating us.

Other guys can be irritatingly helpful and jump to solve all our problems even the ones we're unaware of till he brings it up for us so very helpfully. As long as we don't have one of those on our hands, picking this escapee out from the crowd should be a piece of cake. Occasionally if the guy is so deep into the friend zone that he can't find the door or doesn't know where to begin looking for the door, he might approach us with a cute little hypothetical scenario of a guy trying to escape the friend zone and he'll ask us for advice on how his hypothetical friend should escape.

While it's cute and flattering to be sought out for advice like this, it can often be a very subtle sign that he wants to escape the friend zone himself and date us. Watch for some of our advice to play out in real life with him and that will be our confirmation that he's ready to move on and branch out.

From there, we'll have to do a little soul searching ourselves to decide if he's the one for us or not. While soul-searching sounds like an awful lot of work, it doesn't have to be.

How To Tell If You're Dating, Seeing Each Other, Or Just Hooking Up

All we need is a bottle of vino and maybe twenty minutes of uninterrupted thinking time in which to fully decide if he's dating material for us or not. If we're perfectionists or overachievers, we'll need an hour, a journal, and some neatly lined pros and cons lists.

When guys start getting antsy and wanting to move on from being just friends, they start trying different things for attention—sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously and all with varying degrees of success. According to Major League Dating , one thing they try is dating other girls. We might think this is healthy and gets him out more, especially if we won't ever return his feelings.

I Tried Dating Someone as “Friends First”

But what he's hoping will happen is that we'll see him as boyfriend material and notice the parade of competition he's subtly showing us. He'll also try to keep his date details close to give himself a mysterious air and make us wonder what he's like on a date. This sometimes works but not always.

This strategy definitely won't work if he's a serial dater and ran out of local girls to date before noticing we're female. If that's the case, do we really want to date someone like him? He might be safer as a friend in the bigger picture of things. Once he's dated everyone, he's pretty much seen and done everything which doesn't give us much to compete with successfully or leave us anything new to bring to the table. When guys are on the prowl looking for a girl to date, they pair up and act as wingmen for each other.

How to know if we’re just friends or dating - Quora

In platonic guy-girl friendships, if he's not at all interested in us romantically he'll likely try playing wingman for us too. That translates to being a good friend in his manly mind, even if we'd ideally rather go out with him instead.

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According to Bolde , another sign that he wants to just be friends is when he tries to play matchmaker and set us up with his guy friends. If this happens to us, it wouldn't hurt to try dating his friends. We might find our perfect match and since they're already friends, there's a very good chance that our date will have similar qualities to our crush and we'll be able to adjust fairly quickly and easily.

Sooooo like, what are we??

If he's setting us up with his friends, there's a good chance that he'll have weeded out the weird ones and the one we're going to dinner with will be the normal one and therefore actual date material. It can be argued that no one speaks man better than another man and our guy knows us so well that he'll know what type of guy we're looking for. Depending on personality and the dynamics of the current relationship, sometimes an indicator that our guy friend wants to be something more is a lack of action.

According to Major League Dating , if he'd previously been in the habit of dropping everything to rush over and talk to us, he should stop doing that. It creates a pattern disruption which gets our attention, frees up a surprising amount of time that he can then use to reevaluate his affection for us and it helps us realize the level of dependency we have on our platonic guy friend.

If we like being dependent on him for these little things and find their absence jarring, we might be more inclined to take him on in a greater capacity. On the other hand, his gamble could come as a welcome relief and backfire on him. Some of us are introverts and don't require a lot of social interaction to survive so having a break from that one guy who rushes over constantly at the sound of pin dropping will be a welcome relief.

Eventually we'll probably miss him but not for awhile. Best give him some time to over-think his strategy. Some guys are raised to identify their emotions and express them in an appropriate manner which shows they have very good communication skills and are enough in touch with themselves to understand what's going on below the surface. But other guys aren't as in tune with their feelings and don't know how to identify or process the vast number of everyday normal emotions they encounter.

These guys usually train themselves to identify a few major ones like hunger, anger and happiness before tuning everything else out. For guys like this, being stuck in a friend zone relationship can make them frustrated, especially if they see no clear way out.

It Was Weird and Confusing

So if our mild mannered guy friend starts randomly showing signs of frustration but can't necessarily identify the root cause, it could be stemming from his expectations of where he wants the relationship to go ideally. Expectations can kill a relationship before it even begins if they're focused on too much. General expectations with the expectation of adjusting the expectations to fit reality are healthier and more achievable than unrealistic ones.

And a bit of a helping hand or book, therapy session or frying pan to the head can go a long way in helping a guy emotionally mature. Sometimes in friendships the dynamics will form into a leader-follower relationship. So Major League Dating advises the guy to stop following and take charge instead, even if it's in little things like changing the radio station or deciding where to eat.

This will help shift the balance of power in the relationship and hopefully catch our attention because most of us like a guy who can take charge. It lets us know that he's a real man and fully capable of leading a family someday. As long as he doesn't take the charge and run wild with it, there's nothing wrong with this change in our guy. We might end up liking it and looking at him in a different light. After all, it does get a little tiring making every single decision ourselves. They do not contain any personal information. There are used as identifiers.

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I think most of us can agree that at this point, milennial dating culture is pretty fking wack. In the modern day down-in-the-DM-life we live, it can be hard to determine how serious, or not serious, you and your boo may be. Is it okay to put you on my snap story?? Can I add your buddy on Facebook? Is it too soon to post an Insta together? Who the frick knows.

A person you're seeing? Just someone you're talking to? Every person-to-person experience is definitely different, but here are some ways to narrow down the different between dating, seeing eachother, or just hooking-up. If you're clocking a weekly spot with your bae, this is a great sign that they value your time together. IRL, the plotlines are much more complicated. But in the end, it will all be for the best.

If the sexual chemistry is off, get out of it. All couples have times when their eyes wander, especially once the initial heart eyes fade. But if you wish your work wife was your actual wife but like, for real , your current relationship might not be satisfying you properly anymore.