Exactly What To Say In A First Message – The OkCupid Blog
A repeatable, fast approach to online dating is vital to achieving maximum results. After a few bad dates you are going to be doing this by habit to spot warning signs. Get in the practice of doing this now with our first message online dating formula and you will get better responses. Usually, that means herself. This also shows that you took the time to actually read her profile which is a step a lot of lazy guys skip.
In my experience this is best done with a question. Ideally one that ties into a common interest but that is really just a bonus. Your subject line would simply be for example:. She is almost guaranteed to at least read your message if only to find out if she actually knows you.

There is no magic bullet here. This is a little funny and sets a good tone for the rest of your message.
Example good first message dating site r
This is where you want to continue connecting with her as well as telling her why you are messaging her. Try to include the senses involved in the shared interests. You want her to hear, smell, feel, taste, and see what you are talking about. Be careful to only include positive shared interests. You are not going to get a response if you start off a message by saying for example:.
Exactly What To Say In A First Message
Now you you want to tell an interesting story tied to one of the interests you just mentioned. If one of your shared passions is scuba diving you could say:. Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. This serves dual purposes. In the first sentence you are showing that you are an interesting guy that is fun to be around. In the second you are painting the picture of a life that she would like to be a part of. Now that you have demonstrated why you are messaging her you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked.

This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant. If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results. This is where you give a little and take a little. Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps.
In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good.
And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number. The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:.
15 opening lines that will get a response on your dating apps
Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix. According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm.
And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use.
2. Create an intriguing opening line
NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps. In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic.
Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Women are too smart to fall for them. Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well. And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what?
And many intelligent women recognize the wisdom of using them, like this one who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:. Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull. You have to keep her attention every step of the way, and build attraction with every message.