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Internet dating sites - yes, seriously. I've used them since I was an undergrad and have met some wonderful men, some of which turned out to be long term relationships. I'm not good at meeting people out and about, in bars, etc.
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Sure, there are some people that aren't totally truthful, but those people can be out in church groups, yoga clubs, and bars, too. I met my current boyfriend online. He's a city planner and has been one of my biggest supporters of my academic pursuits. We've been together for almost two years and we're both really happy.
You should give it a try. If anything, you can just see what's out there. I picked my husband up off the street, literally. I do agree that getting involved in activities outside of school would help you meet people outside the world of academia. You might also want to make friends with people at school. If you attend their social events then you could potentially meet other people at those events that share similar interests. Even if it is just a backyard BBQ they are hosting.
You never know, they might have some nice neighbors. Again I'm here to say don't do the online thing Yes the weird people can be anywhere but there's a higher concentration online. If you try online dating, go with something free, like OKcupid. OKcupid used to have a really compelling argument for why paying for online dating doesn't make sense, mathematically. Apparently they've taken it down from their site since they were bought my Match.
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There's a theory that if you have to pay for the use of an online dating site that you're more likely to be serious about meeting people for deeper and more meaningful relationships. I'm not sure if I buy that, but I've had experience with both free and paying sites, and it does seem to me that free sites cater to "hook-ups" more than relationships.
But to each his own. As for the higher concentration of weirdos online Who do you think is online? All of those people you see out in the world, including us. And please don't say "bingo! Thanks for the advice everyone, really. While I do know of people finding successful relationships online, I don't think online dating is for me.
I think I will just stick with meeting people through social activities.
I would like to add, from my own experience, that dating someone outside of academia can be difficult in itself, which is why many of us inter-marry. It also helps that we have the same schedules. Many of my friends who aren't with people in academia list the differences in their careers as a huge issue in their relationships--it's just hard to understand our work from the outside looking in.
We can study together on weekends, and he understands when I have to stay up late to finish reading for seminar. We find balance, too, in being from different fields, as we can give each other advice from the perspective of an outsider to the field but also, nevertheless, from the perspective of an academic.
I actually only have experience dating others from school, which is why I am thinking that dating outside of school might be something I should think about. While someone from academia might understand what I am going through as a doctoral student, I am also sure that there are people in the outside world who can also be sympathetic. Again, because I don't have experience dating outside of school, I am leaning towards meeting people who are not in academia.
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I know that for myself, I do get caught up in everything school-related, and forget that there are people who actually exist outside of academia who are just as smart, interesting, fun, and intelligent as those who are in academia. Oh, I completely agree that there are definitely advantages to someone outside of academia, but it's just been my experience that some of my friends partners don't realize that we do more work than the 12 hours we spend literally teaching, or that grading is actually HELLISH work, or that academic and intellectual pursuit is worthwhile even if "only a handful of people are going to read it.
I have never met relationship-worthy guys at a bar unless I knew them beforehand and we just happened to finally talk at a bar. I have met most of them through sports I play rugby, we're a very tight knit community and I met my current significant other through an engineering design club. I am in an extremely male-dominated field, however, so that certainly helps, although I have only dated one engineer.