You're putting motivations in his head based on your own values and perceptions of what's normal or good in a relationship. His values might be completely different and thus your reading of his motives might be way off. He could be totally into you but genuinely very busy with firm commitments, or he could be particular about preserving his independence in relationships, or he could be worried about going too fast If you want to be spending more time with him, take the initiative in calling him and scheduling more frequent dates.

Listen carefully to his responses. If you get a series of brush-offs and excuses then you have a clearer signal. Though take care to note the difference between "really want to but can't" and "sorry I'm busy". If you see each other once a week, and you've only been dating a few weeks, then it seems you've only hung out a few times. Here's what I hear: I say trust your gut! You are doing a great job of trying to break old patterns I think given that you are looking for a real connection, you became sexual prematurely.

As difficult as it will be, your best bet is to take a step back and have a non-sexual relationship, until you feel secure in some level of mutual connection and feelings. Easier said than done of course, always! Calm down, sit back, let it play out as it will.

There's no need to rush things. You need more information and the way to get that information is to continue dating this guy. Getting together once a week is not unreasonable for a very new relationship. Also, you can leave at any time. If you continue this pattern for another month and then find out for real, not speculation that he wants nothing more, you can leave at that time.

It's not like you'll be trapped forever. He is different from you. His motivations are not your motivations. His schedule is not your schedule. Don't make up stories in your head to explain his behavior.

I'm on the other side of this right now. The person I'm dating wants moremoremore and while I am into seeing where this goes, the neediness is a turn-off. Or he won't, for any number of reasons. Ending a relationship when your goal is something other than ending it is the kind of behavior people refer to as "playing games. Here's a data point from someone else's POV - once a week isn't the same as "not that often. Again, this is all about you.

He's said sweet things you don't believe them. He's told you it's not just sex you don't believe him. You have interpreted "I'm busy" to mean "I don't care about you. What I can see from this question is that you are having some distorted thinking about this situation and you seem very guilty about the sex. You could very well be reacting to some actions that were not explained fully here - so there's no way to tell exactly what is happening. Consider Cognitive Behavorial Therapy CBT with a book or therapist - I think it could help you develop more balanced thought patterns about relationships in general, and this one specifically.

I don't think your thinking is unusual or that you are necessarily wrong to be worried about the relationship - just that a more balanced approach would feel better and help you view this situation rationally. If you're not okay with the casual sex relationship this has turned into I'm not necessarily clear this has turned into a casual sex relationship. I'm clear your perception is that it has - but he actually point blank told you it wasn't. He may have commitments that are older than your relationship. For some of us, it takes time to make time.

Maybe you're really just not that into him. If you did see that potential there, you'd probably feel differently about hearing such sweet things. Yes, your perceptions are coloring this, but that's an important "data point" too. It tells me that you don't feel comfortable with the way things are. Do you trust your intuition?

You've already discussed your concerns with him and you don't feel better? To me, that's a signal to either accept the situation for what it is or look for a relationship where you don't have to ask yourself these questions. You've already told him how you rush into things sexually, and he's told you he's not that kind of guy.

Do you think GAG should combine these topics?

Give him a chance to prove it: Don't tell him what you expect from him, don't give him guidelines, don't give him an exact date. See how he treats you. See how you feel.

See if he pressures you. See if you change your mind. Explore the relationship beyond sex.

If you and he manage to see each other more and grow closer in the meantime, great -- and you can spring "I want to have sex again -- NOW" on him at an opportune time. If he really is the kind of guy he says he's not, you'll likely not hear from him much, and you can move on. So I can see his issue if money or time is a problem.

No, transportation isn't a problem. Thanks though for sharing your story. That sounds really tough and it's great that you guys were able to work things out. That's what I'm saying also, that you cared about her enough to have made that kind of effort. Yes, you are right, your guy doesn't seem to care enough to want this to work.

By rights, you should be the most important person to him, not his friends! So if he is prioritizing his time with them instead of you, at least you know where you stand. I did have a girlfriend in college, and she was all about hanging with her friend all the time and left us little alone time. I dropped her pretty quick! Don't waste too much of you time! I live 1 hour's away. We were acquaintances 1. We have never called each other, literally. We Facebook each other daily.

We go out together once a month, twice if we're lucky. During term time we don't go out. That's my life with my crush, slowly progressing. Is he aware that there's a problem?