She loves me deeply and cares about me like my ex never did.

What to Do When You Are Still in Love with Your Ex | Her Campus

Everything now is better. It drives me insane. I want to let it go completely. I was even thinking about telling my new girlfriend about all this turmoil, but it would only make her insecure and resulted in worsening our relationship. All her relationships seem to be very intense but short. The one who can cure her heart and earn her trust.

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She is amazingly charming… believe me! Maybe one of your parents was emotionally distant. There were moment he or she expressed love for you but for too long periods of time, that parent was distance. One thing you need to keep in mind is that you can get past this. She caused a lot of turmoil in your life and it caused a lot of damage to your self-esteem believe it or not. I would not tell your current girlfriend. That will be your biggest regret. The problem is, you never exactly got your closure. You need to give yourself time.

Trust me, you will forget about this girl. She was a part of your life for 2 years. Thank you for your replies. I think that might be the point, Anita. Actually both my parents were very distant emotionally. I may not even realize this, but there might be something familiar in pattern of chasing unattainable love. It wears me out.. I spend fantastic time with my girlfriend, and then I come back to my empty apartment and nostalgia takes my mind. El, I think your right in that point. She caused a lot of damage to my self-esteem. I remember the first time she dumped me for another guy.

I was questioning totally everything about myself. At the same time I cannot even evoke in myself feelings of anger towards my ex for making me feel so low.

I tend to think about her as a victim of her own difficult childhood. Just like me, she suffers from depression.

My Ex Boyfriend Contacted Me But I’m In a Relationship

It is a shame if you lose a woman who does love you. Perhaps you can attend good, short term psychotherapy, at the least, so that you to accept and process that pain of having been unloved growing up and so that you will be available for love that is attainable and no longer pursue love where it is not. Your ex girlfriend as depressed as she may be, as much as you would like to… fix her? No matter how strong your pull toward your on and off again ex, like a moth to fire, resist and turn toward love. I am curious to know how you are getting on know with this?

Have you made progress and are you still with the current partner? Your story is almost identical to what i have been going through. I dated someone for 6 months which she ended a year ago and i am still struggling with some cravings to try and go and talk to the ex even though she has made no effort to approach me at any point. We have had the odd text on her birthday but that was it.

I am in a new relationship for last 6 months and similar to you she is prettier, more understanding and we get along much better but i just struggle to get rid of these thoughts of wanting to try and resolve the past. Any advice or tips on how you have coped. I have just started some counselling sessions to try and be more mindful with my thinking patterns. I hope the Original Poster of this thread will answer you last posting on the thread is 11 months ago. If you would like input by other members, start your own thread: You can copy some of the above and paste it there.

There are days when I almost not think about her at all, and on the other days I suffer overwhelming anxiety related to my unresolved past with this girl. I really doubt if I had made ANY progress during last 11 months…. Hi David thanks for getting back to me. I just feel so guilty for even thinking like this, despite the fact its not a controllable thing. I am not planning on doing anything about this, breaking up with him or anything as I think a case of "the grass is greener" is responsible.

I think the main issue here is that over the last 2 years a lot of the fun and laughter has been sucked out of my relationship thanks to excessively stressful jobs etc, which isn't either of our faults but it is making me a tad miserable.

I'm in a new relationship but still miss my Ex terribly :(

I have tried talking about this but just get a barrage of "I can't help being stressed" back. I know he can't help it but I don't know how to help! I'm sure it will pass. Original post by megara I was in the exact sane situation with my ex of 3. Took me way too long to realise I wasn't happy and I broke it off with him. Sure he was lovely - just not for me.

Original post by Anonymous Thanks guys, esp. How would you feel if this was the case with your boyfriend? Damn right, you would not have liked it.

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Just end it now - you don't love him. It's unfair to your boyfriend and you don't seem mature enough for a relationship. Yeah, dump your boyfriend, he's probably bored of you too, just make sure you end it with him before you start something with this other guy. How old are you? It's understandable but in the grand scheme of things you should take your relationship with your boyfriend in isolation and see if you're happy.

I'm glad you've got through some of the more strong opinions from those who probably haven't ever had an extremely long relationship to read the people who have had the same feelings but stuck with their OH. There are a lot of people IIT that don't know how love really works. Just having a passing crush on someone does not mean you don't love your partner. All these people saying "you don't love him", please get off your horses. OP, I think this is something every relationship passes through at some point or another.

Falling in love is something that lasts maximum about 2 years, I can dig up the studies for the skeptics if they're really interested, but essentially after that "spark" fades a little more to a different kind of attachment less blind and single-minded , that's when you really have to put the effort in to keep things going. And I think having crushes on other people is not a good or bad thing, it just happens. What you decide to do is what matters.

But make sure you make the choices you don't regret, give yourself plenty of time to think things over - it's very likely you get over this other guy and forget about him, though if you are around him a lot it will take a bit longer. But think about it like this - did you break up after your first argument or serious rough patch? No, you got through it.

This doesn't have to mean anything other than you're not asexual for people that aren't your partner. It doesn't mean you aren't meant to be or that you don't love him. People who think this doesn't happen have never been in a serious long-term relationship and have idealistic notions of everlasting blissful love, as portrayed in sappy novels. The problem with questions like this is that it is so hard to judge objectively or rationally.

What to Do When You Are Still in Love with Your Ex

Personally I would never leave someone who makes me happy for someone that might. Oops, nobody has posted in the last few hours. Why not re-start the conversation?