What I meant was were I'm from the age of consent is 17 and not ''we both agreed. She'll soon be 18 few months time so I can surely wait by then if we had to become intimate. My question is the age gap, if it is weird or bad for any of us. Sorry for the misunderstanding. My SO and I have almost a 10 year age gap Since at the moment shes considered a minor: You say she is of age of consent now shes a minor HikerVeg Send a private message.
The age of consent is different in every state, but it's generally between 16 and Two teenagers can have sex and it's not statutory rape. The problem is that you are an adult and she is not. If her family took issue with your relationship they could create problems. You are an adult and she is a minor. Age of consent and statutory rape laws are supposed to make it legal for two horny teenagers to have sex. I personally think it's a big age gap to overcome with a teenager.
Especially if she hasn't graduated from high school yet. You're a grown man you really shouldn't be dating someone going to high school classes. If she turns 18 and a couple of months what's the big rush to date her anyway? Original post by loveleest Omfg.
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You are so annoying. Yes, I think Keith is perfectly attractive but I don't want a guy 5 years older than me for now So no, I would not date him at the age of Maybe when I get to I would turn down Keith if I was 17 and he was You seem so pressed about this it's strange.
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News and current affairs Replies: Biology, biochemistry and other life sciences Replies: Investment banking and consultancy Replies: Model House of Commons Replies: Should I give up and consider this a sign? Tell us a little about yourself to get started. The new Gillette ad. That's not to say that you shouldn't already disapprove - while I personally wouldn't start feeling disapproval just from what you've described, your feelings are very understandable - but regardless of how you might initially feel, you can always tell her you disapprove a little later, once you've gotten as much of her perspective as she's willing to share.
But at first, it's better if you can be simply inquisitive: You don't want her to feel like you've already made up your mind before you've had a chance to thoroughly discuss it, right? I think sometimes people just disengage and become resistant to anything we say if they feel we're already against what they're doing, which reduces our ability to actually help them significantly. Approaching with an inquisitive attitude helps everyone involved: If you ultimately decide you disapprove or that there are real concerns, you'll be able to present your position much more thoroughly, pointing to the concerning details from what she herself has told you.
In the process of asking her these questions, she might even start thinking about issues she might have overlooked herself. And maybe in the process, you'll learn something about why they're drawn to each other and how they both think and feel that makes you feel more comfortable with the whole thing. Personally, I'd just start with something like "hey, I was just wondering, could you tell me more about how this relationship started and what made you like him? Unfortunately, it can be hard to find a way to word things without causing misinterpretations. For example, at least where I'm from, a curt and direct "So what do you see in him" can give a very negative, even judgmental impression, even though taken literally it's almost the same question.
So maybe soften it with clarification, like "don't take this the wrong way, I'm just asking so that I understand what you're thinking and feeling, because I've decided that since this relationship seems to be important to you, I want to fully understand where that's coming from". I think this a good starting point - it immediately gets at the root of investigating how much your concerns apply to this specific case, helps lead your daughter to spotting any problems that might be looming in this relationship without just making her feel like she's being told "no", builds mutual understanding and a possibility of openly discussing relationships, including the tough parts, between you and your daughter, and has the opportunity to show her by example what kind of questions to ask when figuring out if a person is right for her in a relationship.
Best case scenario, she and her romantic interest will positively surprise you with mature and well-considered perspectives on why they're right for each other. But if not, I think the above will put both you and your daughter in a better position to navigate any troubles that might come up, together. Children with older brothers or sisters are usually much more sensible and grown up than those without, and the same goes for girls who date older men. It's probably just a sign that she is highly intelligent and mature for her age anyway.
Women mature much quicker than men and by dating up in this way they continue to surround themselves with much more mature and sensible people. It totally depends on the character of this person - which by the sounds of it is good - but he may be a really good influence on her. Far better than dating a guy her own age.
Is it legal for a 20-year old to date a 17-year old so long as there is no sexual activity?
Do you remember what you were like at 17? Weren't boys at that age more likely to be 'only after one thing? Teenage boys have literally nothing of value to offer anyone. Also anything you do say or do will only make the situation bad between you and her. If he actually mistreats her or starts seeming like a bad influence then sure jump in there and say something, but otherwise you are probably worrying needlessly and causing undue drama.
Whilst the people I go on dates with are somewhere between I use an app that allows you to configure this and I'd be very cautious at dating anybody younger, I wouldn't necessarily draw the line at dating a year-old if they seemed mature and that's something exists almost entirely independently of age. Invite him for dinner and family days out. In this way, you'll be able to keep a weather eye on things.
With regards to her education and career, you really only can do what any normal parent would do with a year-old, that is, encourage them in the right direction.
Can a 20 year old (guy) date a 17 year old (girl)? - guyQ by AskMen
Travelling is something she will or won't do of her own accord and isn't a pre-requisite to successful grown-upping. Regarding pregnancy however, you ought to encourage her use of contraception. The kind would be some sort of implant that require her to make a conscious decision to discontinue use. One thing which no other post has covered, and which you probably don't want to hear, but is the plain and brutal truth Younger people are still learning and experimenting with what they can do, and they naturally want to do as much of it as they can, and have it be as enjoyable as possible. As a rational person, it would make complete sense for her to get her experiences of what it should be like with someone who is actually competent.
Most guys her own age are not going to be highly competent, so it makes sense for her not to play with them. The truth may simply be that she has no interest in a long-term romantic relationship with him, and they are purely enjoying having sex with each other. You might not like to hear this about your year-old daughter, but you do need to face that she has sexual needs and as an adult is fully entitled to do absolutely anything she likes with absolutely anyone she chooses.
This means that you leave everything regarding feelings, broken hearts, morality and so on to her to decide or experience on her own. That's her obligation and lawful right. She's of age, which goes both ways. What to do about this? You should try to stay close to both of them or at least her so she has you as a confidante, a trustworthy person - i.
You cannot expect to be successful in digging around behind her back anyways. So, support her, make sure she knows that you are there for her, be truly happy that she found someone etc. You can try to pull the guy into the family; i. Make those relaxed events, not "tests". If and when you see signs of danger; then you act, with decisiveness.
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By supporting her, confronting the boy, and so on. Aside from that, you have precious little leverage, and being negative about it upfront will likely spoil whatever "power" you have in the situation. I heard stories from my parents: But he would stay on with her parents, playing cards sometimes late into the night.
So, her parents my maternal grandparents got to know Dad as a friend and potential son-in-law, through their own play-dates, not just from whole-family gatherings. But things were different then — she was trained by her mother to be a housewife and was not expected to go to school past 12th grade. Her own mother only went to school through 8th grade, which was normal for girls at that time. So, it seems to me that the issue isn't the difference in their ages, so much as that she's too young in this time to have a serious relationship that could be potentially long term.
A younger man would realize that they both have further life changes, but he might already be on a career track. But that depends on the career: So maybe they are closer together in terms of life stages, than implied in the post. So I repeat my conclusion above: It is perfectly reasonable for you to be feeling anxious about the well being of your daughter.
Age differences aside, she is moving into a life of her own. Training wheels are off and she is going out into the world. There's always something you could find to be worried about as a parent. If it's not age difference in the guy she's dating, it could be something else. I'm concerned that she'll get hurt, pregnant or that even if they are truly in love that she'll end up growing up too quickly and miss out on what girls her age do, university, traveling building a career.
The risk of being hurt in a relationship is universal. I don't think that is any more or less likely due to a mildly larger age gap than might be expected of a young woman. There are certainly couples with a larger age gap who are happy. There's really no guarantee and she just has to live through her own relationship experience.
As far as getting pregnant, throughout human history, nay mammalian history, females have served an integral role as mothers. It's a relatively recent and perhaps even baseless assumption that she will be happier pursuing university studies and a career. What is there to worry about her missing out on or that she will grow up to quickly if she finds a fulfilling life as a mother, just as many women have throughout history?
Yes, even those mothers who are young by modern expectations can have a very fulfilling life. But all of the studies showing stay at home moms are happier and all of the examples of childless women who pursued their careers and ended up with regrets really don't mean anything when it comes to what will be the best life for your daughter. She may find that she wants to pursue that university and career path after all. Either way, if you are going to adopt the modern outlook on such things, you are going to have to accept that it's entirely up to her to choose her own path in life.
I know the real concern. You don't want to end up taking care of another newborn!