She destroyed a sofa in order to wipe my tears. It was the first thing I laughed at post-breakup because it was so weird and touching. But it reminded me that being around people who make you feel good speeds the healing process.

Plus, maybe one day you and your friend will find a way to connect again. Time ended up healing this gaping wound: Here's how to deal. From Our Readers July 16, Talk it out No matter what, you need to try and have a discussion with your friend. Keep your distance Whether you decide to stay connected to your friend or cut them loose, distance is the only thing that will help make you feel better. Be as upset as you want to be Chances are, things are going to get awkward with your mutual friends. She enjoys graphic design, playing music, and baking. She is currently living in Ventura with her boyfriend and their 27 dying plants.

Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. Two men talking on a walk iStock.

Woman apologizing after an argument iStock. Friends making a toast iStock. Beginning the discussion with your friend might be scary, at first. Ok, if it did Would you feel eager to have that conversation? Maybe Mike or Jane is going through that. If there's tension in the room, it maybe ain't just yours. Or for that matter, they could have tension you do not. Some of the tension might be imagined worry over what the other might think.

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You can look to the past and count all the ways your feelings hurt. Or you can look to the future and decide what kind of relationship you'd like to have with them going forward. The clearer and more self-true you are on this, the better it will work. And then you can outreach them and figure out where they're at.

It may be they are relieved to know that what they presumed to be a problem for you is in fact not. Also, cut your ex some slack. It's hard to navigate them well even when both of you have the best character and intentions. It's the human condition but it doesn't define our choices. Thank you for your interest in this question.

Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site the association bonus does not count. Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead? Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. How to interact with a friend dating my ex-girlfriend when we hang out? Background Jane and I belonged to the same group of friends since childhood.

Problem Her dating Mike, in fact, did not surprise me that much. I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because we cannot give relationship advice. Questions at IPS require a goal we can address within the context of interpersonal skills. First of all, please narrow this down to 1 question, so the extra questions bit has to go. What exactly is your goal here? Why are you asking us, and what are you asking us for help with? Do you want to have a frank talk with Mike about not telling you, so that hopefully things are talked out before you ever have to interact with both of them?

Do you want to 'act normally' which we can't answer since we don't know what's normal for you? Tinkeringbell I edited out the extra question. What I want is to keep my friends including Mike and basically not address the fact of them dating. Dealing with related issues myself, so my heart really goes out to you, but like the above comments - you have to figure out what you want to do first, and then we can help you figure out how. EmC Thank you for input. I don't have to stay in contact with them, but I want to. Yes, by keeping the friends, I meant keep hanging out with them, I edited the question to be more clear about that.

I'll start out by quoting apaul's very gracious answer: They're not dating to hurt you So if you want to clear the air: If the talk goes well, fantastic, you figured out how to act around each other in the future. This is an excellent answer. In addition to just making valid points, you actually propose solutions with different outcomes in mind. I will probably try this approach soon.

If nothing, at least I will know I was the person to go out of my way and try to make things work. Here are some hard facts: You may want to know how this eventually played out. As much as I didn't like it at first, you were right. I couldn't stay near these people.

Be prepared for consequences you might not like

I cut ties with all of them except one, with whom I occasionally meet, but don't talk about the rest. As you said, I moved, got a new job and focused on my hobby. I am getting better for myself. Often the best advice is the one you don't ask for and like the least. The times I found myself in your position, there was usually the instinct to think and sometimes say: How could they do that to ME?

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With all of that out of the way, your question was: In my opinion this demonstrates a complete lack of self respect. Keeping someone who betrays your trust so completely around, and acting like it's a sign of maturity is simply self-delusion. These people supposedly cared for the OP, yet completely disregarded his feelings, and turned his life upside down. He should not be sustaining a relationship with such individuals. I don't think it's healthy to inflict daily punishment upon oneself in the form of being around these folks. AndreiROM The act of self respect is in not having your self respect tied to the actions of others.