The time has come for me to grow up. To take charge of my life. To focus on me and what I want. Done with the farts. I'm done with it all. I want a Hot Guy.

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A Hot Guy who will blind me into forgetting that he has no job, no apartment, no bank account. But whatever, I say. That's what women's lib was for, right? I might be alone in this, but I don't think any of that is all that bad. Although if someone robbed me, I'd be pissed; my high-end discounted shoe and handbag collection took a long time to put together. The thing is, everyone has the potential for lewd, crude, and dishonest behavior.

But no one writes about them because they're so ugly. Why else would they be flashing penis on their computer instead of chatting up poor, defenseless, underage coeds at a bar? If you think back to the last time nothing mattered, did you ever say to yourself 'oh, Guraraghi Vinkaghi is winning all those science competitions, let me snag him' -- or 'oh, Matt will surely leave me for a younger woman, he has washboard abs, a perfect smile, and spiky yet cool hair'.

Although you might have asked yourself 'why aren't I dating my male best friend who is a great dancer, fabulous dresser, and cohort to late night lip synching? On the one hand, we're immersed in fables that tell us that we should look past physical beauty: Beauty and the Beast , the tale of the Ugly Duckling, and so on.

We're told that the soul and the body are two different things, and that the former is much more important.

Dating an ugly guy

But on the other hand, we're blasted with an incredible number of images of immaculately beautiful specimens of humanity in a lot of different formats: Yoga instructors with butts that defy all explanation, wearing tight pants that hide zero anatomy, tell us to look beyond material pleasures for enlightenment. And the messy truth, of course, is somewhere in between these two poles. Looks and personality are not totally unrelated — they influence each other.

And they both matter. And only you, finally, can choose how much. Now, if you're not attracted to this girl at all, you should end the relationship immediately. It doesn't matter if you're an incredible fit in terms of personality. Both of you will become very unhappy if your dick's just not invested in this relationship at all.

If you feel bad for being a shallow pig, it might help you to remember that we're all shallow pigs. Better for both of you for you to be honest about that now than to dishonestly drag out a relationship that just won't work, wasting time both of you could be spending finding a better fit. But that's not what I'm hearing.

What I'm hearing is that she's, well, sort of attractive enough for you. When you're in bed, everything goes swimmingly, but you're not always completely enticed by her face in the mornings. She's got a few lovely angles but also a few unlovely ones. Rather than being gorgeous, she's cute enough. Which is fine for you most of the time. But there's this gross itchy feeling deep down, like you think you deserve a total dime-piece stunner and you're going to die unhappy if you aren't dating one.

Or like you don't totally enjoy showing her off — we all know that proudly displaying our partner is a great feeling.

You've also dated hotter people, and you know that there's a certain testosterone tug that just isn't there in this relationship, nice as it is. It's a tough situation. There are no clear answers here.

I'm Pretty. Should I Date Someone Ugly? | HuffPost

And if you're really unsatisfied, I wouldn't blame you for ending things. But you shouldn't make this decision rashly. Specifically, think about the transitory, troublesome nature of hotness. Since you've dated hot people before, you might have noticed something: It's not their fault. Skip to content Blog. Home AskCofC How does the ugly guy get the beautiful woman?

Part I A guide on developing your inner Casanova. There are benefits to this type of confidence and mindset: The ability to move on and bounce back from rejection. Be self-reliant instead of being needy. Having the ability to lead not only women but people in general.

Taking full ownership and responsibility of your life. There was always a reason behind your failure, sometimes you had control and other times it was completely out of your control. They need other things to make them feel complete. Sometimes its financial wealth, status, fame, women, or maybe a combination of all this. This leads to needy behavior which in turn leads to always trying to chase what I call the magical dragon or the magic pill. You get a date with a really pretty girl you met at the bar, you bring her back to your place, you guys have some crazy and fun sex.

You want to go brag to all your bros about her and show her off to your friends. Learn how to love yourself without becoming a narcissist.

I'm Not Really Attracted To My Girlfriend - What Do I Do?

I live for and have a purpose outside of pursuing women. That along with men who live a life with no purpose. Most men have no clear idea what they want out of life. Health Wealth Relationships Interests Goals My point is women are attracted to men with a purpose, a motivation, a driving goal, and something that keeps pushing them forward despite the odds.