Dating traditions in afghanistan

Men who want to marry girls under 17 are not entitled to obtain a marriage certificate, although rights activists say many men simply do not bother with officially registering their marriages. Local NGOs and their international partners have also started an awareness campaign throughout the country to promote children's rights to education and self-determination. Mosleh says many parents, teachers, and local leaders take part in workshops and meetings organized by her and other NGOs in Afghanistan's remote towns and villages.

But she and other activists harbor few illusions: It will take years, perhaps a generation, to root out the tradition of child marriages. Kazakhstan Kyrgyzstan Tajikistan Turkmenistan Uzbekistan. Bosnia Kosovo Macedonia Montenegro Serbia. January 04, Deadly Consequences Young marriages have contributed to high rates of death among women, infant mortality, and particularly maternal deaths. Women Reject The 'Little Miseries'.

HOW AFGHAN GIRLS DATE

Remembering Kosovo's Racak Massacre. Does Deadpool Promote Nazism? Russian Censors Think So. You Might Also Like. Afghanistan What Would A U. Troop Reduction In Afghanistan Mean? And then there's a very 21st century dating option for Chinese young people looking for love: The most popular program — with up to 50 million viewers per episode — is If You Are the One, which To describes as a dating show meets American Idol. Eligible bachelors show off their talents singing, dancing, magic tricks to impress a group of 24 single women.

If a match is made, the couple heads off. Since the show debuted in , thousands of contestants have tried their luck. Now, the program is reaching out beyond China: An Australian version aired earlier this year. Dating is a challenge in Afghanistan, where custom dictates that young men and women cannot be together if they are alone. But college students can get more than just a degree, says Zadran, who is on the faculty for the school's new master's program in gender and women's studies and who focuses on issues of equality. In his courses, young people also get the rare opportunity to study one another.

They can see each other," Zadran says. On campus, when they walk down the street together or sit on benches to chat, "it's not shameful," he adds. Outside of this setting, it's quite challenging to interact with potential matches.


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The Wall Street Journal recently reported that Kabul's emergency services number has been flooded with calls from lonely men hoping to strike up conversations with female operators. Talking to the opposite sex on the telephone? That's completely acceptable, Zadran says. When couples conversing on campus want to take things to the next level, they inform their parents.

Zadran says a typical young woman would approach her mother with this sort of request: He wants to get married. What do you think? If the reputations of the families are "good," Zadran says, the couple typically gets the green light. Parents who chose to or are forced to marry off their underage daughters often ignore factors such as the age or any disabilities of the future son-in-law.

Daughters might even get married off to men whom their families have never seen before. An AREU study on marriage practice in Afghanistan from cited the example of Aziza, a girl in her mid-teens who was married to a 60 years old man. Therefore I saw no other way out than to marry the old man who was willing to pay the bride price demanded by my family.

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As a result of the high prices for weddings, hundreds of young men have been forced to go to Iran, Pakistan, or the Gulf countries to find work, often under precarious conditions, to try to earn enough money to pay for their wedding and the bride price 4.

In summer , just before he was about to return to Afghanistan, he fell from the third floor of a building where he was working. He suffered a broken neck and severe spinal cord injuries and had to spend most of his earned money on medical treatment.


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Young men who cannot go abroad to earn money try to find the necessary financial resources within Afghanistan. Most borrow money from relatives; others mortgage or sell land. In many cases, the families of brides are also willing to accept some of the bride price in kind through land titles, houses or cars. In , Yar Muhammad from Mutakhan district in Paktika province transferred his 20 jeribs of farmland to his brother-in-law as payment for the negotiated 1,, Pakistani rupees 17, US dollars bride price.

Yar Muhammad was left with only a few jeribs of land to use as a source of livelihood.

In some cases, the pressure to pay high bride prices has caused young men to commit suicide see a report of Mehwar Daily published in December , here. Similarly, depression and other psychological problems, family disputes, suicides and fleeing homes have been reported among those young men and women who were not able to get married because they were unable to meet the demands for the bride price see for example: In some cases, the bride price also results in women not being able to get married.

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This is viewed as shameful for the women, as is getting married at an old age. For example, Nasima name changed was 50 years old when she finally married a 60 year old widower in another village of Andar district. Life was so difficult for her that she said she would agree to marry anyone who asedk her, even if he had disabilities or was an old man. The widower, who married Nasima, had a daughter and three sons from his previous wife.

After a few weeks of marriage, life again became bitter for her. Historical examples of government efforts to regulate wedding costs and prohibit bride price.

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In the Marriage Law, expenditures for the wedding itself were limited, the mahr was fixed at 30 afghanis at the value from that time period and bride price was prohibited. The law was widely criticised by Islamic scholars who considered these reforms as intervening in their domain and curtailing their powers.

The scholars accused King Amanullah Khan of endorsing laws that were contrary to Islamic law. Later legal initiatives, including those from , , and focused on limiting wedding costs, but without explicitly forbidding bride price. A law from states that the bride may not demand a bride price, but she can demand mahr. However, the , , and laws did prohibit bride price.

In , communist President Nur Muhammad Taraki issued decree number seven, according to which the bride price for a young girl was set at only afghanis roughly an equivalent of 30, Afs now or about USD. The decree, however, was unevenly implemented and, was rejected by more conservative parts of society see here and here. Others, however, took advantage of the decree: According to 55 year old Khudai Nur in Andar district of Ghazni, the parents who refused were threatened.

These developments, related to decree number 7 and the behaviour of officials and government supporters, played an important role in convincing the population to rise up against the communist regime.

The Bride Price: The Afghan tradition of paying for wives | Afghanistan Analysts Network

The anti-communists, for example, used the decree as one of their propaganda subjects to encourage the population to stand against the communist government see here. Religious leaders at the time said that the decree was un-Islamic because in Islam there is no specific amount of mahr; although a minimum is given, a maximum is not prescribed. Other examples from that time, however, also showed that communities were not opposed to regulation as long as they were consulted.

For example, according to Mawlawi Muhammad Qasam, the head of a tribal shura in Sar Roza district of Paktika province, an agreement was made by local tribal elders in the post-communist period years ago to set bride price at 10, Afghani.


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  • Such local agreements have also been attempted more recently. According to Mawlwi Muhammad Qasam in Sar Roza district of Paktika, the tribal elders made a new decision in that bride price should be around , Pakistani rupees 3, US dollars ; this was considered a reasonable amount for the people of the area. A similar decision had, as noted above, been taken in this district in the s when the elders decided that the bride price should be around , rupees 1, US dollars. However, by , this agreement was no longer adhered to and bride prices had become as high as 1,, rupees 10, USD , in addition to other wedding expenses, in some parts of the district.

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