What are her favorite movies, books, music, or games? What are her hobbies? After she tells you her favorites, go home and check them out.
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Listen to her favorite song, or read her favorite book. Accept rejection if it happens.
Look around at people on the street. Are all of those people your type? It doesn't mean anything is wrong with them; they just aren't right for you. Similarly, you might not be right for her, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. If you are anxious about being rejected, try coming up with a response in advance for rejection, such as saying "Okay, see you around then," and walking away. Move on to someone else. Being rejected just means that you two were a bad match. It doesn't have anything bad to say about you. When you feel comfortable, tell her about your disability, and explain how it affects you personally.
Be prepared for a few awkward questions. Give honest, factual answers. Relationships are about both partners seeking to understand each other. Encourage your girlfriend to use online resources such as Autism Acceptance Month, the Autism Women's Network, and WikiHow to find out more about the autism spectrum. Show her that you can be an attentive partner, but sometimes social situations take a lot of effort for you. In any relationship, you need to have boundaries, both sexual and nonsexual, and autism can make reading cues like body language difficult.
Ask your partner to honestly tell you what makes her uncomfortable and what she would like you not to do in the relationship. It might help you both to write these things down on a piece of paper or in a message. Give a compassionate response over a pure honest one. This can be a good trait, but it may come across as too blunt in certain situations. Check in with each other. If you have a difficult time expressing your feelings sometimes, it can be a good idea to have a regular check in session every week. This might be over coffee or dinner. Try having a set of questions you always ask.
This can be a sweet ritual for you as a couple and a good way to plan staying in touch. It will make you both feel heard and valued. An example set of questions could be: What is something I did that made you happy this week? What is something I did that made you sad this week? What is something you would like us to do together next week? Make gestures of affection.
Consciously think about things you can do to make your girlfriend smile. Keep a list in your phone of things your girlfriend likes. If she says one day she likes peonies and specific kind of chocolate, write it down. Every so often, check that list in your phone. Go out and buy her peonies and chocolate for no reason at all. Your letters can be hard copies or emails. Write down the things you like about your partner, and let her read those things.
Not Helpful 61 Helpful Autistic people, just like others, can have love lives. Finding a partner can be harder for autistics, but it's definitely still possible for most, especially with the right skills and a supportive environment. You may have a stereotype in your head of a nonspeaking person who rocks and knows hundreds of digits of pi; not every autistic person looks "abnormal," and even the people who are like that are often good people who can love and be loved. We're much more ordinary than you might think. Not Helpful 7 Helpful What If I'm not autistic?
Autistic, Single, Gay and Ready to Mingle
I have Asperger's, should I do the same things? Asperger's Syndrome is a type of autism, so you count as autistic. All our autism articles can apply to you. Not Helpful 6 Helpful How do you make a girl like you if she is really beautiful and smart and lots of people already have crushes on her, and I don't feel like I'm smart or pay attention in school? You can't make someone like you, but you can let someone know you like them.
Be at peace with the possibility of rejection. Try to create a friendship first. Notice the things she likes, and try to find a common interest. Let her know you think she is intelligent. This will set you apart from the people just telling her she's pretty. Ask her questions about herself. Not Helpful 40 Helpful What if you also have bipolar and ADHD, and the girls around you don't think you are their type?
This can make dating difficult, but make sure you are seeing a good therapist that can give you tips on dating with autism, ADHD, and bipolar. If the girls around you don't seem to be returning your attention, try meeting new girls. Join new activities that you enjoy, or try meeting someone online. Not Helpful 22 Helpful Try going to an event or social group for autistic people, or for neurodivergent people in general. You don't have to limit yourself only to autistic girls to find someone who understands you.
Many neurodivergent people can relate to you, and you could even end up with an understanding neurotypical partner. Keep in mind that autistic girls may not know how to communicate disinterest, so be careful to respect their boundaries and let them go if they're not interested. Be patient, because it can take quite a few tries before you find a girl who is interested and a good match. Not Helpful 8 Helpful An autistic guy at my school is in love with me and is a complete pervert.
He touches my private parts and tries to kiss me. I tell him no nicely. The teachers don't do anything because he's "special".
Autistic, Single, Gay and Ready to Mingle - Autism West
What do I do? If I were you, I would tell my parents, even if it is very awkward. Tell your teachers seriously that nobody needs to be touched inappropriately, even if this person is "special". If they still don't do anything, go to the school administration. Threaten to press charges for sexual assault if you need to, and feel free to follow through with the charges, because that's exactly what is happening and it is not okay. Not Helpful 2 Helpful Being shy can make dating difficult for anyone.
Try approaching the girl first through writing. Send a text, online message, or write a note. Give them time to process and think through it. Realize that you deserve a place to belong. Adopt the right mindset about dating. Like social skills, you can learn dating skills over time, with practice, and the right about of support. Join a community like the Thrive with Aspergers community , where others can support you as you venture into the world of dating.
Get the book, Love Factually not an affiliate link. Duana Welch on this Art of Manliness podcast episode. The advice applies equally for men and women. Read my articles about body language. Also, you can sign up for conversation coaching on his site. Read my articles about starting, maintaining, and ending a conversation.
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