The bigger the age gap between you, and the younger she is, the more skewed the power dynamic will be in your favor. Other variables like race, class and gender identity will also factor in to the power balance of your relationship. The presence of a skewed power dynamic does not necessarily mean that a relationship with an age gap should never happen, but it does mean that you need to take extreme care, and in certain cases it's sensible to decide that the power dynamic is too out of whack for a relationship to be formed.
4 Questions About Older Man/Younger Woman Relationships
Age of consent laws help us to draw a clear legal line between women who are too young to date and women who aren't, but aside from this, every man must draw his own moral line. It certainly depends heavily on the age of the younger woman rather than just the quantity of the age gap. For example, when a rapper in his late 20s dates a year-old celeb, people find it suspicious and harmful, but fewer people think a much larger, plus-years age gap between some celebrity couples is objectionable if the woman is in her 30s when they got together — these are fully grown women capable of making their own decisions and much less likely to be affected by peer pressure.
Again, though, these are not hard and fast lines or rules, and you need to draw your own moral lines. A young woman can be smart, witty and worldly, but she is, by definition, not mature or experienced.
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Certain life experiences and personal qualities only come from being alive on earth for a decent length of time, so if you are considering dating a woman who you would otherwise think is too young but for the fact that she's "really mature for her age," stop kidding yourself. If your prospective partner is fresh out of high school, having never weathered a job loss, heartbreak or any of the other hallmarks of adult life, you are a going to struggle to relate to each other, and b she is not going to be well-equipped with the tools needed for a serious relationship yet.
Stereotypically speaking, when a young woman dates an older man she may have a few qualities in mind that she expects you to have: She may think that guys her own age are immature and directionless, and be looking for an older guy to provide more stability for her. Which is all well and good, except if you're as directionless and financially insecure as the men she's trying to avoid.
Or maybe she's not looking for financial security, but she thinks you're going to be a complete gentleman who will woo her with flowers and chocolates, whereas you're not the slightest bit romantic in the traditional sense. She might have completely unrealistic expectations of men in general, or she might simply have unrealistic expectations from you in particular that you are never going to be able to meet, and you will need to work those out before starting something serious.
Similarly, you might be tempted to date a younger woman rather than someone your own age because of a cliched idea that they have a relative lack of "issues", are more wild, fun, flexible, and so on. This isn't a great way of looking at things: You expect your partner to love you, warts and all, so if you're only dating younger women because you think that they're relatively "flawless", you're going about things entirely the wrong way. The only way you can figure this stuff out is to talk openly about your expectations.
If You're Thinking Of Dating Someone Younger, You Need To Read This First
If she's seeking a silver fox who will open car doors for her and order Champagne at every restaurant you visit, you're going to need to be straight with her if you're not going to be providing that for her. Let her know that you're a person she'll be dating, not a weird father figure or security blanket. Likewise, she can let you know that she's a human woman with flaws and insecurities, not a hot babe who will never "burden" you with a single emotional need.
This is generally the major reason given for the dissolution of one of these relationships. If starting a family is important for you, the relationship might not work unless you have a plan in place for raising your family as you both age. Does age really matter? Age can be a major factor in a relationship or it can be as minor as you make it. The choice is typically up to you and your partner. Think about the consequences and the advantages.
Decide the attributes that are really important to you in the person that you date. Where can I meet older men? There are several places where you can meet older men.
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Many still go to the bars and clubs where younger women hang out because they enjoy the younger nightlife. The next time you go out clubbing, keep an eye out for the older men in the crowd. They will likely be the quiet ones that are sitting and enjoying a drink by themselves. While clubs are a great meeting place, some younger women find these guys a bit creepy. For those who are less social, there is always online dating.
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With this method, you can put the age group you are looking for into the system and let it do the rest. If you are looking for an older man who is over the clubbing days, you might consider places like the gym, park, a bookstore, coffeehouse, evening college courses, or even where you go for religious worship. The key is to be open. Older men have been dating younger women for centuries. Depending on how you perceive the situation, this type of relationship can be as complicated or as fun as you want it to be.
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