You might need to lick your own wounds first. If things become more serious, however, you should tell your potential partner. Friedman says a good time might be when you decide to see each other exclusively or when you just feel that you care more deeply about each other. You might choose that time to share that you have depression.
And finally, emphasize again that you care about the person and the relationship. This message is as important as telling her that you have depression, says Friedman. For example, if you exercise regularly to help lift your mood, ask your partner to join you.
2. Stay Flexible
Telling them about the challenges you face or going to couples counseling can also be helpful. Just talking about your relationship and how depression may impact it lets a person know you want him or her to be a part of your life. Some women, on the other hand, expect men to take the initiative to plan dates or activities. This can be hard to do when you are depressed and you have little energy. Let her know you want to be with her, but you may have to keep things low-key. Depression, and some antidepressants, can cause you to lose interest in sex.
If you are having libido problems that are medication related, talk to your doctor about alternatives that might be less likely to dampen your sex drive. You can also let your partner know that you care in other ways. It is important to know your own weaknesses and strengths and understand your dating pitfalls. Friedman says these types of sites can be a good place to go to, but consider mainstream dating sites as well.
Depression is hardly a homogeneous experience, as anyone who has struggled with it will tell you.
Top 9 Things to Consider When Dating Someone With Depression – Bridges to Recovery
Some days are better than others, some symptoms are more debilitating, and some activities are more challenging. So the first thing to ask yourself is where you stand on your own spectrum, says Dr Shannon Kolakowski, author of When Depression Hurts Your Relationships. If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, feelings of hopelessness or totally exhausted, dating may need to wait until the symptoms are reduced and they're more stable,' while you focus on the essentials, she says. But for many people, depression is a part of daily functioning, not a full-on roadblock to it.
She says to consider whether you are seeking a relationship or just looking to dip your toes back into something more casual. There is no wrong answer - but information is power. If you have answered 'yes' to the question 'are you ready to date,' then 'it is a really good sign that you are wanting to date and are ready to connect with others.
Signup for our FREE eNewsletter
Whether it's a walk in the park or a night at the movies, make a game plan that makes YOU feel good. A good date for anyone involves sharing a fun activity, and this is particularly important for someone who is depressed. If you are feeling negative about the date, anticipating it being a fun event will help in terms of the mindset that you go into it with,' explains Dr Kolakowski. This activity should be 'whatever suits you: But ultimately it is important that the activity is one you want to do, and feel comfortable with.
Tap into your support network and practice some date scenarios.
- Dating tips for people with anxiety and depression.
- federal employee dating contractor?
- dating traditions in mexico?
- RELATED ARTICLES.
- 1. Depression is Complicated and Real.
First date jitters are normal for everyone, but if depression is a part of your life 'you want to be aware that you may be more vulnerable to the difficulties that can come with dating, and want to have a support system in place,' says Dr Kolakowski. Talking to friends and family before a date and scheduling time to touch base with them afterwards 'so you're not building your whole world around dating - which we know can be up-and-down' can help ease nerves even 'treat' depression, she says.
Part of the excitement of dating is the unknown aspect, but that doesn't mean that you can't run some rehearsals with someone you trust before you go. Dr Whitely is working on setting up a system of 'supportive dating,' providing a platform for patients to practice modeling a date with a peer or professional. He suggests that 'you can go through scenarios [that might occur on the date], practice what kinds of questions people are going to ask you and rehearse how you might deal with x, y and z,' he says.
This way, you can feel out when your answers might start to lilt toward the negative, and practice calling up more positive answers - which will make you more appealing, and, more importantly, help you to feel better about yourself.
You’ll need a new login link.
Do some feel-good date prep like going to the gym or writing in your journal. You probably have a ritual for going out - whether with friends or on a date - but when you're dealing with depression, it's important to include elements besides the standard two spritzes of cologne or drawing on your favorite cat eyeliner.
Take some time on the day of the date to do things that are reflective and 'nourishing' to you, says Dr Kolakowski. Dr Kolakowski suggests journaling or exercising, two different ways of connecting with yourself and your strengths. Steer the conversation and don't let depression take the wheel. This can quickly turn into 'overly-focusing on yourself, because if you're depressed you tend to be more internalized,' says Dr Kolakowski. All that self-contemplation can get in way of conversation, but dating is really an opportunity to break outside of your own mind.
Top 9 Things to Consider When Dating Someone With Depression
Unfortunately, the stigma attached to depression still persists, as Dr Whitely found in his research. Depression is common and not something to be ashamed of, but exposing that part of yourself too early on in getting to know someone can leave you vulnerable. Talking about depression is 'self-disclosure and about timing. First dates don't need to involve that heavy of a topic,' says Dr Kolokowski.