I have never felt so loved in my entire life. The kind of life I have never experienced from my previous relationship. I am not welcome to any of his two kids party's and we spent xmas and New year's apart and Thanksgiving last year because of his kids. I didn't wanna put him in such position and so as his kids. I don't know what to do. Holidays are coming again and we are officially moving in together sometime this month.

Is it ever gonna get better? I know time heals wounds, but it makes me depressed thinking about holidays and seeing my boyfriend sad and hurting coz he couldn't get me and his kids together in one place. I love him dearly. I am not sure sometimes how to make things better. I'd been very understanding and sensitive to his kids feelings especially to my boyfriend. I think for now you should enjoy her company and when she is ready she will introduce you to her kids.

You have to remember that taking on an already made family has its challenges and you have to be prepared to put the children first. I think 8 years is enough time to have grieved and if you want to tell her how you feel than just do it.

Dating a Widower With Kids

I am currently dating a widow. She is 45 and I am She is absolutely amazing. I can only normally see her once or twice a week with her schedule.

She has 2 kids. Daughter 13 son Their father passed away 8 years ago. When I am around her I feel that my love for her is getting stronger and I need to tell her. I am very hesitant to do so because I have not met her kids, also i do feel uncomfortable when she mentions his name. She does not tell stories they experienced just normally something like similar to "Mickey used to do that".

I do want to marry someone one day but it is very difficult to know how to approach this situation when I do have very strong feelings for her. Any advice would be appreciated! Nani - it is never easy for children when it comes to change. Teenagers can be very difficult especially if they are girls as they will get jealous and sometimes hurtful because they assume you are taking their fathers love away.

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You need to be honest with them and tell them that you are not there to replace their mother but you will be there to support them and they should feel free to speak about their mother or their feelings. Let them know that you will be there as a parental figure and both you and your partner need to be ready to stand together as one or it will not work at all.

The children need to know that you are both strong together and that you love each other as well as understanding that you will both love them too. I think a sit down as a family will be a good idea so that you can discuss what your plans are and let them ask questions if they need to but you also need to make them understand that it is going to happen and that they will be loved either way. Thank you so much for your useful insight. I have been dating a widower for 5 months and we already met our respective children from previous marriages.

His late wife has passed away 2 years ago and his children are young teenagers. Mines are young adults, both in University.

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We have been talking about moving together, specially because we live in different cities and, because of the distance, we can only see each other twice a week. We miss each other constantly but when we get together we do many things that we both enjoy: We do not know how to address the big change and we do not want to hurt his children who, already suffered a lot.

Do you have a thought you could share with us about how to deal with this complicated issue?

Kat teenagers at home can be very tiring as they are demanding and the house seems to be very small at times but this is having kids and it is good that they are home and not wanting to be away from you as one day it will change and you will be longing for them to come and visit you. I think in every family you need to have a date night with your spouse so that it doesn't feel as though you are only mom and dad all the time. A date night allows you to be a couple where you can talk freely and feel relaxed without having to discuss domestic issues.

Plan a night out for the two of you at least once a week so that it is an escape away from home life and you will feel refreshed and appreciated too. It is also important to keep the kids busy if they are home all the time and get them into routines where they study at a certain time and go to bed at a certain time, allowing you relax time on the couch in peace. Chores are also a good idea as it gives them responsibility which keeps them busy.

When you feel that you need a time out, you need to discuss this with your spouse so that it doesn't bottle up and let you explode later on. Organise for the kids to do outside activities as well so that it gives time to clean and do things that you cannot do when they are there. Perhaps a sport or an extra mural activity. I feel guilty because I want the kids to go away to school by the age of 20 , have jobs and outside interests. I entered my marriage with the expectation of having family life until the 14 year old goes to college.

After that I want to spend my life with my husband. I don't like being accused of being needy because I want a companion. They are home the majority of the time as high school becomes less as they get older and college classes can be taken on line. I feel stifled and long for the days when my husband and I can have our home to ourselves for a few hours. Am I very selfish? I am sorry to hear about your cancer and remember to be strong and you will get through it!!!

I think after 3 years and at her age she should be accepting of your happy news and perhaps she feels that her dad is the only link she has left, the fear of you getting married and taking the only parent away might be what she is thinking. I would sit her down and speak openly about how you feel, that she will not loose her father by marrying and also ask her why she does not seem happy?

Dating a Widower With Kids | WeHaveKids

It is very important to open up and talk. He is 53, I am 52, his wife was 54 when she died. We started out our relationship very slowly and were friends for over 6 months before we got 'serious' he felt like he was cheating, so we took it really slowly Anyway, I eventually met his daughters and granddaughter. Everything went fairly well, even dealing with all the different personalities.

The eldest girl, 35 I got on the best with, we would have a few drinks together and talk about absolutely anything.. She is not his, he adopted her at age 7, she was his first wifes. The granddaughter is painfully shy, but loves me to bits! Anyway, we had discussed it with the family and told them we were going to be getting engaged then married, they all seemed delighted. We got engaged 3 days ago, and, the eldest one who is the ONLY one who had mentioned marriage The other 3 phoned their Dad and me in floods of happy tears, I also got good news about my stage 4 cancer on that day Just wondering how best to deal with the eldest daughter.

Let her come to terms? I think that your relationship is still fresh and there is plenty of time to talk about the future. For now have fun and enjoy each other but without compromising your own future. In time he will be able to commit and be in love but this will take time as it takes more than three years to get over the grieving process and for him to let someone else take over the role of mom, will be a big decision.

I personally think that so many complications with going out with someone that has a child, that has been married before and also is a widower. Why complicate your life when you are so young. Leave your options open and try not to get serious because I say that you know if someone you are dating is serious about you and you deserve to be treated as the best thing in that persons life, adored and loved because in this type of relationship he is probably not wanting to commit seriously, especially if he was married before, he is not looking to commit again for a long time.

A few things I wanted to clarify; his daughter is 3 years old so she's always been used to "just daddy and her", but she allows me into her life without much of a hassle, she has even started becoming attached to me. She's too young to recall her mother, so I don't think she will give me a hard time on trying to be there for her without "replacing" her mother of course. Him and I have been together for almost 6 months, so I would say it's gotten serious. He was married to his late wife, and I'm pretty sure I'd want to be married to him one day, also have a child with him.

The discussion you talk about, to let him know where I stand and where I would like to go, we had that a few weeks ago. He said that if he just wanted my company, my support and all the physical advantages, he wouldn't have lasted more than 3 months into the relationship before pulling out and moving on to someone else, afraid of the commitment and lack of future. He just might not be madly in love, because that's an emotion he has litterally shut off in order to cope with what happened and came after his wife had passed.

He looks at things everything in his life pretty much on a day to day basis, so he says he wants a future with me yet can't make any long-term future plans yet moving in together, children or marriage are all things he steers away from and can't give any conclusive response to when I ask him about them. This is because he hasn't fully opened up yet to a longterm-relationship, he admits loving me but not necessarily being "in love".

He doesn't like the pressure when I talk about future plans, he wants things to go well at the moment being but doesn't want to get ahead too far. Nevertheless, we do make short term plans often, every weekend we go places, we recently went on vacation to Kenya, so he does do things and make plans ahead, just not too long term. He is kind of afraid of commitment and falling in love again yet he knows he has to commit in order to continue his life. So he moves back and forth between short-term and long-term commitment.

He wants to have a future with me, he just isn't sure how and it scares him too.

I'm being patient but we talk about it often enough so he knows where he stands. He just isn't much of a talker when it comes to emotions, but he says he can't give me any promises on the future, just that his feelings towards me are genuine and that his intentions are good. But it's really hard sometimes not being able to go further and push it until he says the things I really want to hear.

I'm letting him be honest and do his thing without neglecting me, and it's worked out so far. But I am worried that I will be waiting eternally for him to open up completely. I expect many things, he doesn't expect anything at all. But he does embrace pretty much everything that we do and our relationship, he just isn't able yet to modify the life he's established for the past three years to give me a full-time place in it.