He's very smart, very handsome, in perfect shape, has a great career, has tons more money than I do We haven't even done more than a quick kiss here or there in public! We haven't been to each other's apartments. What is he getting out of this? Frankly, I'm concerned that he might just be into me because I dumped him after two dates - but he actually started pursuing me pretty heavily since BEFORE we met.

Taking someone out to dinner on a first online date is a bit much. It's almost like he made up his mind about us before he even met me. He contacts me every single day, asks me all these in-depth questions about my family and my childhood and my dreams for the future, buys me presents for no reason, even bought me a year-long membership to something My main concerns are: Does he really enjoy the "teaching and caretaking" role, or will he inevitably lose respect for me?

What do I bring to the table, besides my relative youth? This doesn't really seem sustainable. Physically, we haven't done more than a quick peck on a street corner. Will his interest dwindle away after he's "gotten" me? He lived with his previous girlfriend so I know he's not waiting for marriage Why is he so enamored with me when he's smarter, has more money, is objectively better than I am at all sports and lots of practical matters, etc.?

Because these things do not determine what he likes about people. Ew, this question is throwing up all kinds of red flags for me with regard to him not respecting your boundaries and trying way WAY too hard to insinuate himself into your life.

1. Stop Saying He (Or She) Is Out Of Your League | HuffPost.
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3. is my ex boyfriend dating someone else.
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There's way more going on here than who is in who's league. If you're this uncomfortable now, I say trust your gut and move on. The objective facts say that he's crazy about you, and this is how he shows it. If anything, he seems to think he's not good enough for you , and tries to make up for it with lots of presents and affection.

First and foremost, I see a heavy dose of you not giving yourself enough credit. There are also some other, more cynical possibilities here that I'm sure other people will bring up.

Stop Saying He (Or She) Is Out Of Your League

He sounds sweet and interested. Why end things before they've begun? If you keep dating him and realize that he creeps you out more than intrigues you, end things then. But so far he sounds like a man who is serious about finding a relationship and interested in you. It's not fun to date with low self-esteem-- you end up with guys like your ex, who seem "safe" because you feel smarter and more mature than them.

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It's safer to be the catch and know it than to feel like you could lose the one you love. It's common for women who underestimate their attractiveness and charm to date down and become a mother figure in their relationships. But try taking a risk on love, if you really like this guy! It sounds like you could be equals. There is definitely the possibility that he's a creep-- if he squicks you out, you have no obligation to keep dating him and you should protect yourself.

But it's definitely possible from what you've written that he just likes you and wants to share things with you an ebook is actually a rather thoughtful gift, not as tacky as showering a woman with gold bracelets so she won't lose interest or something. I would suggest you really look at the rules for how relationships progress that you have created in your head.

He could be a really decent kind man who enjoys your company but your low self esteem is going to get in the way of being able to accept and enjoy this kind of attention. Because he perceives you as having low self-esteem, which makes you easy to dominate, exploit, and abuse, which is what he's going to do if you fall for his bullshit.

Respect yourself more and move on. I think if it feels weird, it's weird. You're allowed to break up with this guy if things don't feel right. If the only problem you're worried about is what will happen if the other shoe drops, I think you can rest in the knowledge that it will, and just wait for that to happen.

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Life experience tells me he will completely go fickle of you once you return his passion for you - he just likes the challenge you are presenting. The romantic in me says this might be the real deal. I don't think there is any way to tell. Do you like him? Do you feel a spark? I imagine this is difficult if you are holding back emotionally. I'm also pretty sure you are not giving yourself enough credit, that's certain. I guess you're just going to have to wait it out, or hire a private detective or something. I have no idea. Anyway, if you like him, date him. If you do not like him, stop dating him and don't accept anymore gifts.

The gifts make me leary. He could be mentally ill or something. Or maybe just a really great guy ready to settle down! What do you think is going on? How we relate to other people isn't a 1: You clearly have qualities that he values and he clearly finds you interesting. You sound very negative about yourself, which is too bad. I would feel completely smothered and it would ring personal alarm bells for my level of comfort in a partnership. If your brain is telling you there's something wrong with the situation, listen to it. Focus on the qualities he has that would make him a good match for you.

A lot of times in early dating, folks fret over what the other person thinks about them, to the exclusion of even feeling out the relationship to see if it's a good fit.

15 Signs He's Out Of Your League | TheTalko

Don't lose sight of that. A couple of possibilities here: Dude really likes you. Do you really like him too, for more than his descriptors? And beyond being interested in you, is he respectful of you and attentive to your boundaries?

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If you like him for himself and he is respectful, I'd suggest talking to him about your concerns about how intensely focused on you he seems to be. My husband fell for me right away. I really lacked faith in my own judgment at that point and it all felt too fast to me. But I was able to talk to him about that. The ability to safely and trustfully talk to a partner is a real indicator that what is happening is for real.

I just noticed this "but then two weeks later I changed my mind and cautiously went on a third date with him". Did he give you that two weeks without bugging you? Or was there a continual bombardment until you gave in? If the former, great! If the latter, alarm! Him pursuing you after you dumped him Your youth is quite attractive, by the way, especially if he wants kids, but The big red flag for me here is that you don't seem to feel in control.

Because if you're not comfortable it's your job to communicate that, and it's his job to respect your boundaries. So if you haven't tried asking him to lay off a bit, maybe you should. If he disregards your stated preferences again, well, you know that he's not a good choice for a long-term egalitarian relationship. On a more personal note, I feel like men who shower women with gifts early on are sort of I don't know what it is, but it turns me off.

I want to be in a relationship of equals, not a relationship where I'm always the recipient and feeling like I'm being put in a stereotypically submissive feminine role. That might be your issue, too. I suspect you are not giving yourself enough credit. However, that does not mean this is the guy for you.