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Increasing the operational efficiency of manufacturers through Industry 4. What are the 'what if' scenarios of financial planning? Paul Howard of Fairstone Group explains further. Become an Expert View more expert articles. We need to be sushi compatible.

I want to take you for a nice kebab. I found out later Olaf is an animated snowman. Hi, nice to meet you. Self-employed author, therapist, and online salesperson.

The number one rule for the perfect first date is the man taking control of where and when. Finsbury Park, North London. Beckenham, south east London. Also, it had an interesting cover. Everyone has an image in their mind of how a relationship should work. Both people share responsibilities.

Both people manage to finely balance their time together with the time for themselves. Both pursue engaging and invigorating interests on their own and then share the benefits together. Both take turns cleaning the toilet and blowing each other and cooking gourmet lasagna for the extended family at Thanksgiving although not all at the same time. The fact is relationships are imperfect, messy affairs. Well, maybe if you had been listening, asshole. The common theme of the advice here was be pragmatic.

If the wife is a lawyer and spends 50 hours at the office every week, and the husband is an artist and can work from home most days, it makes more sense for him to handle most of the day-to-day parenting duties. My wife loves cleaning no, seriously , but she hates smelly stuff. So guess who gets dishes and garbage duty? Here honey, let me get that for you. On top of that, many couples suggested laying out rules for the relationship. To what degree will you share finances? How much debt will be taken on or paid off? How much can each person spend without consulting the other?

What purchases should be done together or do you trust each other to do separately? How do you decide which vacations to go on? Have meetings about this stuff. She immediately told me not to laugh, but that she was serious. I think the most important thing that I have learned in those years is that the love you feel for each other is constantly changing.

So even if you feel like you could never love your partner any more, that can change, if you give it a chance.

1. Be Together For the Right Reasons

I think people give up too soon. You need to be the kind of person that you want your spouse to be. When you do that it makes a world of difference. Out of the hundreds of analogies I saw these past few weeks, one stuck with me. A nurse emailed saying that she used to work with a lot of geriatric patients.

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And one day she was talking to a man in his lates about marriage and why his had lasted so long. The key is understanding that few of those waves have anything to do with the quality of the relationship — people lose jobs, family members die, couples relocate, switch careers, make a lot of money, lose a lot of money. Your job as a committed partner is to simply ride the waves with the person you love, regardless of where they go. Because ultimately, none of these waves last. And you simply end up with each other. I felt as if we were floating along, doing a great job of co-existing and co-parenting, but not sustaining a real connection.

It deteriorated to the point that I considered separating from her; however, whenever I gave the matter intense thought, I could not pinpoint a single issue that was a deal breaker. I knew her to be an amazing person, mother, and friend. I bit my tongue a lot and held out hope that the malaise would pass as suddenly as it had arrived. Fortunately, it did and I love her more than ever. So the final bit of wisdom is to afford your spouse the benefit of the doubt.

If you have been happy for such a long period, that is the case for good reason. Be patient and focus on the many aspects of her that still exist that caused you to fall in love in the first place. As always, it was humbling to see all of the wisdom and life experience out there.

There were many, many, many excellent responses, with kind, heartfelt advice. It was hard to choose the ones that ended up here, and in many cases, I could have put a dozen different quotes that said almost the exact same thing. Exercises like this always amaze me because when you ask thousands of people for advice on something, you expect to receive thousands of different answers. But in both cases now , the vast majority of the advice has largely been the same.

It shows you how similar we really are. And how no matter how bad things may get, we are never as alone as we think.

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• 2. Have Realistic Expectations About Relationships and Romance!

I would end this by summarizing the advice in one tidy section. But once again, a reader named Margo did it far better than I ever could. That means emotionally, physically, financially or spiritually. Make nothing off limits to discuss. Never shame or mock each other for the things you do that make you happy.



Write down why you fell in love and read it every year on your anniversary or more often. Write love letters to each other often. Make each other first.

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When kids arrive, it will be easy to fall into a frenzy of making them the only focus of your life…do not forget the love that produced them. You must keep that love alive and strong to feed them love. Each of you will continue to grow. Bring the other one with you. Be the one that welcomes that growth. Be passionate about cleaning house, preparing meals and taking care of your home. This is required of everyone daily, make it fun and happy and do it together. Do not complain about your partner to anyone.