In the age of app-based dating, and hashtag-able everything, relationship struggles can so often be summed up by a single, zeitgeisty buzzword: That would be negging, of course. But you should strive to be. This happened to me once, on a date I otherwise thought was picture-perfect. We were sharing drinks beneath the sunset, just like in the movies, when the whole thing was torpedoed with one soul-crushing comment.

He was 30, and I was just He was wise and sure of himself, while I had very little idea of who I was or what my future held. Either way, his message was clear: I did think he was interesting. Had I erred by reaching beyond my station in life? Was I boring and undeserving of hot dates under an orange sky? It was like imposter syndrome had come for my love life and, suddenly, I felt catastrophically un-special. Of course he was not literally on higher ground, but the damage had been done. Our disparate leagues had been applied. When I told my friends about this, many had similar experiences to share.

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By referring to an obvious attribute of hers as a side effect or flaw, he established dominance. Just like that, she was made to feel like he was the catch. Negging clearly "worked," for him — but is it all still total B. Modern dating has made it easier than ever to find and list data points that quantify, and place value on, our romantic prospects.

A little LinkedIn sleuthing clears up questions about wealth and education; Facebook and Instagram fill in the looks and social status gaps. The whole thing is outdated and classist and shallow.

You should move on and find someone who lives a peasant lifestyle like you. If he is on Don Draper's level of style, you may want to take a moment to really think about if this guy is in your league. Sure, you may dress cute but unless you are taking it to the Olsen Twins' level on the daily, he may be out of your league. After all, your personal style is a form of self-expression. His form of self-expression may just be out of your league. Also, his ability to afford these clothes speaks to the fact that he may have a ton of money, which is another sign that he could be out of your league.

If his apartment is amazing, you should take a second to think about if this guy is in your league. Having a penthouse in a good neighborhood truly is amazing these days. Hell, with the market, having a one bedroom in a good neighborhood is a win. If you have a studio or share your apartment with several other people, he may not be into your teeny, tiny space.

I mean, a guy with a great apartment does not want to hang out in your living room with your six other roommates.

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If your apartment is decorated with posters on the walls, that is another con. This guy with the amazing apartment does not want to hang out in your apartment that is basically a dorm room. You are better off chasing a guy who also has a studio apartment or lives in a box on the street or something. Because what's the point in spending a week in Paris if you can't let everyone know you've spent a week in Paris?

Seriously, why did anyone travel before ? If your Instagram is not full of photos of your toes in the sand, he may not really be into you.

If he is someone who is very informed about what is going on in the world, he is obviously out of your league if you do not know about every single world event. Imagine just staring at him with w dumb look on your face because you have no idea what he is saying. It's like you're in an episode of Charlie Brown. If he hangs with a group of fun, cool people, you better be able to bring a group of fun, cool people to the table too.

I mean, someone who is surrounded by fabulous people in life needs to date someone else who is surrounded by fabulous people too. A super sociable guy won't want to date a weird, loner girl who only had a handful of close friends like yourself.

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How can you tell if he has a huge group of amazing friends? Check his social media, of course. If he has thousands of followers on Insta, he simply must have a huge group of cool friends. Your followers simply does not stack up to his following. Who we are on social media is who we are in life and it looks like it's time for you to get a few more friends on social media and in life. No matter where you go with this guy, he knows someone there and it is amazing.

You should know the bouncers and bartenders everywhere too. If you want to date someone who has hook ups, you need to know everyone everywhere too. Regardless of if he has hook ups or not, him going out every night is another sign that he is out of your league. First of all, having the time and expendable income to go out so often is a sign that he really has his life together.

He clearly wants someone who has the time and money to party on the town with him. Sit in and watch another show on Netflix because you're boring and lame. If he is the really funny type, he may be out of your league. Sure, he may make you laugh on the regular but are you able to make him laugh too? If he has that witty, charismatic personality that simply draws people to him, you should step aside unless you can bring the same sense of humor to the table.

If you do not find yourself to be as funny as him, he is out of your league. Let another girl who is funny and charming enough for him take over. You do not deserve all the laughter he brings into your life if you are unable to give it right back. Ignore everything and anything said in this article. No guy is ever, ever out of your league and you should never, ever feel that way.