My friend, in her early 30s, was really into him, but when she first started getting to know him, he was entering into a relationship with a woman closer to his age.

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But by the time we saw him this past weekend, he was single and ready to mingle. They did some chatting back and forth following the event and ended up having a very interesting conversation about age.

It makes sense that a man who is 53 would have a child, or hell, a couple of children — possibly of adult age. But my friend was taken aback when she learned that this guy had a daughter who was her exact age.

It came out while they were joking about him possibly forgetting her name. What is my life?! For me, it would also likely be a no. A young woman wrote about her experience dating a man with multiple daughters around her age, and all of the ways their relationship was looked at by others for Cosmo in She was 26 at the time, her boyfriend, I must be a gold digger and have daddy issues.

He must be a pervert or be very immature to love me. Our own families have spent hours begging us to choose between each other and them. His daughters, whom he had young and are around my age, have a strong loyalty to their mother his ex-wife and have struggled to let me in.

Wait for them to come to you. The advice came from my dear friend Jennifer, who has a stepfamily of her own and understands that it takes time and patience to blend and bond. Scared, in fact, of two girls, ages 8 and I had already fallen in love with their father, so what would I do if they didn't like me? What if I didn't like them? David and I both grew up in Northridge, both completed graduate and undergraduate degrees at UCLA, had friends in common from college and recently discovered that my cousin was his childhood music teacher.

But we didn't meet until OKCupid matched us, and it was love at first sight. There was no coffee rendezvous; he took me to the fantastically romantic Il Cielo in Beverly Hills on our first date, and we've been together ever since. It was a long wait — we are both in our mids — but well worth it.

David is my Dream Man. I had wanted a partner, but one with kids?

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My dating profile indicated that I was open to it, but the gesture was theoretical. I had never dated anyone with children, and I never wanted my own. Are you a veteran of L. We want to publish your story. I remember the first time I heard his youngest daughter's voice. She'd called when we were driving to the Mark Taper Forum in downtown Los Angeles, and we put her on speakerphone while I remained silent because she didn't yet know her dad was dating.

As we inched along the Freeway, my anxiety increased. I had become accustomed to our time alone: He gave me tennis lessons and I dragged him to yoga class. We went to Club 33 at Disneyland and he treated me to couples massages and pool time at the Four Seasons spa. But my favorite thing was always cuddling on the couch and talking. I was starting to wonder what our relationship would look like when it became a story for four, instead of two. We decided to wait six months before my first meeting with his girls: We figured flashing lights and photo booths, prizes and pinball, loud noises and lots of other kids would be a good distraction from "Dad has a girlfriend," which also means: David's daughters are sweet and smart, loving and funny and generous and affectionate … and my friend Jennifer was right.

I could hardly stand keeping my distance. Like a puppy dog, I wanted to cuddle up to them and play, but I remembered her advice not to overwhelm them, so I pretended like this was all no big deal, and tried to find the feline inside. I tried to relax, think of the stretch of time ahead of us, remind myself there's no rush.

Because my own parents are divorced, I know what it's like when Dad has a girlfriend. Months later, in a quiet moment, I told the girls as much, and let them know it's OK to have any range of feelings about all this. Her sister, silent, looked at me, and tilted her head, as if to say, "Hmmm… we'll see about you. We have tried to do all the "right" things: But it's still hard sometimes, and I think about Jennifer's advice quite a bit.

There's nothing like it online. Instead, I find hundreds of articles about how to advance and evolve, take steps forward. For me, however, progress has come only with a practice of restraint: