The fear he had about giving and receiving love was detrimental to the stability of our relationship.
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He needed constant validation that he was appreciated, and he also wanted reassurance that I wouldn't cheat or end the relationship. To be honest, it was exhausting trying to rid him of his insecurities. Instead of melting into what we had, he was consistently looking for something he could find wrong or what I could be doing more of: The interesting part is that I did kiss, snuggle, touch and express, but when someone has never experienced love, they develop an idea in their head that becomes impossible to attain.
Realizing that there cannot be an exact or precise feeling when it comes to love is a revelation. Holding onto impractical expectations ultimately develops into heartbreak Although no one wants—or would—purposely set themselves up for heartbreak, what is done subconsciously is a different story. Believe me, heartbreak sucks! Until you have had that experience, it is hard to explain—just like trying to explain love in its entirety. Love is a feeling that can bring you paramount ecstasy…but also, depths of depression.
Many times, love is not something we intentionally chose. For me, I did fall in love with a man who had not experienced love before, but unfortunately for us, love did not conquer all. However, I am an optimistic believer that it is possible to find the right person. Bottom-line, with persistent and solid effort from both sides, as well as a healthy and strong foundation, a relationship will inevitably progress.
By fueling romantic desires, openly expressing feelings, and cautiously nurturing the growth of the relationship, love can and will triumph. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.
It's really deep, and I agree with everything. This just made me realize a lot of things. Thank you Alecia for commenting and reading my article! I do believe that in the matters of the love you must always follow your heart, and sometimes that means letting go. I'm not sure the past boyfriend had never been in love but it seems that he had never really been open to love and all its ramifications. It is true that persons who have not been loved well do not know how to love others unless they get professional help.
Lets hope that he and all other persons who have had difficult experiences with love will get professional help. I haven't been in a relationship when many people my age are married or already parents but unlike your previous boyfriend I've had a lot of other positive relationships with family and friends, just not romantic. I know I'm not alone, I've heard plenty of other people say the same thing but not be able to be comfortable about it since some people consider it somewhat strange.
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In general, I feel like if you're meant to have love in your life, it will happen- you can't force it or follow a pattern you just have to trust your heart. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Updated on October 24, Questions must be on-topic, written with proper grammar usage, and understandable to a wide audience. Great hub, I enjoyed reading it. This website uses cookies As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
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Think of it this way: If your significant other demands a detailed description of your past, they probably aren't the one. And if they take to comparing you to past conquests, they definitely aren't the one—yuck. The good news about being less experienced? You can give up the sexual reigns until you feel confident enough to take charge. That being said, not everyone enjoys playing the passive role, and who can blame them?
What to Know About Dating a More Experienced SO
If you're feeling overpowered by your partner's extra experience, speak up. In most cases, the extra effort on their end is probably out of courtesy, and chances are they'll be more than willing to step back and let you give it a go. If not, you may need to reevaluate the relationship. Unless an unequal power dynamic is what you've consented to, a dominating partner personality could be a warning sign of disrespect.
Feeling awkward at the start of a new relationship is completely normal, no matter the circumstances. Throw in the nerves associated with being inexperienced, and stomach butterflies are basically a given.
But it's perfectly okay to be open about these emotions with your SO. Holding tension in can lead to misunderstandings later on, so airing out concerns immediately may improve the prospects of your relationship. It's also okay to not want to hear about every single detail of your partner's previous sex or love life—when you're really digging someone, you probably don't want to imagine their hand holding someone else's!
Again, it's important to let your partner know if a conversation about their past is making you feel uncomfortable.
Can A Relationship Work With Someone Who's Never Been In Love?
Just explain to them why, and ask if they would mind cutting back on similar conversations in the future. Okay, okay, but what about nerves in the bedroom? As it turns out, almost everyone has an awkward sex story to share, whether they were a newbie at the time or not. Sex in itself is an awkward process, and nothing like the movies trust us.
If you make a mistake or just don't know what to do , let out a giggle and ask for help or try again—we promise, it's cute.
Can A Relationship Work With Someone Who's Never Been In Love? | PairedLife
If your SO laughs with you, they're adorbs. If they laugh at you, send them out the door! Being butterfly-filled with new-relationship nerves is one thing. But if a healthy discussion of your partner's past stirs up a strong sense of jealousy or judgment, you might need to reevaluate how you're approaching the relationship. A new partner can't reverse the relationship decisions they made in the past, and honestly, they shouldn't feel the need to.
Chances are, they aren't too happy about their exes either—otherwise, they wouldn't be exes! And even if things with previous hook-ups or dates ended amicably, they're with you now, which is all that matters. You should never judge your partner's experience, just as you expect them to not judge your lack of experience. Humans learn from experience, so an SO might unintentionally make generalizations about all relationships based on their specific experiences in past relationships. Who can blame them? These expectations can exist in all aspects of a relationship, sexual or otherwise.
Let's say Sarah and Sasha are dating, and Sasha's old girlfriend was a huge proponent of hanging out together all the time. Sasha may expect Sarah to be just as social, while Sarah may require more personal space than Sasha's ex.
Is their relationship destined to fail? Expectations aren't synonymous with wants, and any experienced SO is going to have to adapt to different types of partners—that's what dating is all about. Laying out what each party needs in an SO from the onset is a surefire way to set boundaries, but we understand that serious talks aren't always practical in new or un-defined relationships.
In that case, just drop clear hints as you go along—don't expect to be dating a mind-reader! Sexual boundaries are immensely important.