Is it in because when you bring people over, you don't want reacting to all the boy stuff around? Look, I've made dating profiles and I'm happily married. As someone said below it's not because I'm looking or anything, I'm just interested in what the response will be. Or, in the case of eHarmony, what their questionnaire was like.

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Talk to her, ask her about it. But not in an accusing sort of way, but just in the "are you unhappy with our relationship? Is there something we can do better as a couple? If she was actively cheating, I don't think there's much reason to cultivate her dating profile. I'd say it's more likely that she's shopping around.

Also, when u let her do the talking People usually ramble on and on trying to cover up their lie, so if she keeps her answer short and sweet and answers calmly she's telling the truth, but if she rambles, let her ramble her foot into her mouth and break up with her immediately. Nobody deserves to be cheated on, physically OR emotionally.

Why the fuck are you tracing her GPS location daily?!?

Why would you create an account to try to trap her instead of just talking to her about what you found? I kind of hope she is looking for a new boyfriend, since her current one is a creepy controlling dude with no sense of personal space or privacy. Seriously knock it the fuck off My only advice to you, is to come clean with her about invading her privacy and let her know what you found and how it has upset you. Honestly, to my mind either way it will not be good news for you because you will either be constantly worried about this if you dont discuss it, or she is going to be rightly pissed and break up with you over it.

If you don't talk about it you will never know. She put FindFriends on my phone. I admit I've been looking at her location with a different motive recently but it's not like I'm tracking her without her knowledge or consent. See my update re: One thing I would ask you, members of the jury, is to balance her right to privacy and my violation of that with her disrespect for me and our relationship by her actions.

If you catch someone attempting to cheat on you, is it your fault for checking up?

You wouldn't put a Store Detective in jail for snooping on a shoplifter. I know that's a bullshit analogy but if I caught her cheating fair and square, the means to that end hardly matter, the result's the same. I admit I've done wrong but I did find what I was looking for so my suspicions were not unfounded.

There wasn't much there for you to suspect of cheating though! Because you sure didn't mention it! If you always go looking for shit, don't be surprised when you find it!

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Regarding the tracking, my fiance and I have the ability to track each other too, but we know it's just there IN CASE something bad happens or to show off my cool ass phone I just got used to her friends constantly looking over each others' shoulders and posting photos of their food so they can comment and gossip on each others' choice of breakfast. Nothing is too mundane for them to post on Instagram or FB.



The books they're reading, a pair of shoes in a shop window, their coffee She's got over friends on FB, they all need updating on the funny-looking dog she just saw or some other earth-shattering news. And about of them track each other every hour of the day. Her family all do too. It's like living in The Truman Show. That doesn't sound like tracking though. You guys need to set some boundaries, it's fine if her friends do it but you're her partner and you don't seem to be okay with it - until of course you want to dig up some dirt.

I don't want to bombard you with responses but I've still been thinking about your post a little more today. A lot of the times people post here about this little problem or big problem but don't notice the crap that's festering around it. I've done it too.



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Either they don't see it or don't want to see it. What I'm getting from your responses is that neither of you seem to be in a good place regarding the relationship. Your girlfriend seems really needy and you seem independent. Neither attitude is necessarily wrong, but do you see yourselves as good fits? It seems like you speak about the way she conducts her friendships in a negative way. Her way of doing things, to me, is a deal breaker.

If I was considering a relationship with her I would be backing the fuck out of there because I value my privacy. But if I was looking to have a relationship with you, I would also be backing the fuck out of there because you can't really be present in my life day-to-day. If this mismatch works for you, that's great. Maybe it'll teach you to how to be a little of each other - you a little more reliant on her and her a little more independent.

But frankly, you both act like children at the moment. I was surprised to see your ages as I assumed you were both mid 20s. Please don't worry about bombarding me with messages. I'm really getting a lot out of this and I'm grateful and humbled that you all of you have taken the time to help me. I feel a lot lighter about the whole thing and its helped much more than I thought it would. She quite happily admits to being needy and high maintenance but she had a difficult childhood and I know where she's coming from there.

My greatest regret is that I can't be there with her every day but I have bills to pay. She also has a lot of work to do for her doctorate and needs quiet time for that.

CAUGHT MY GIRLFRIEND CHEATING!! (Found her secret dating page)

We're a better fit than we might sound. You're absolutely right about the way we've behaved in this, we both deserve better of each other. Seeing it all written down like this has been an eye-opener. I hardly recognise our relationship and ourselves in what I'm reading. Does she know that that attitude won't get her too far into relationships? Have you indicated that it's okay to feel that way and doesn't need changing - even though it seems like it isn't to you?

If she made the match. I think you've hit the nail right on the head with this one. She's alone for days on end. She's constantly on Facebook, Instagram every networking and god knows what site or app and she was single for a good while before we met we met online. Maybe old habits die hard and she just gets bored and enjoys a harmless flirt. God, I hope so. Don't come off as too accusatory, but the questions you're asking are absolutely in the right.

Know that you have righteousness on your side if the conversation gets heated. If she's super defensive and tries to spin it around on you, I think you know what to do. Maybe you guys were fighting or she felt lonely so she updated a few things. After a day or so things cooled down you guys were fine or she decided the lonliness was just a normal by-product of this move and she needed to do more with herself and dumping you wasnt the answer. You said she has TONS of unopened mail not just from the site but in general. Seriously, you are getting way suspicious with ZERO proof and no reason to feel she has cheated.

Not only that but instead of talking to her about the relationship or asking if she;s happy you go through her phone and track her movements? What the fuck is wrong with you? Get a grip and just talk to her. Everyone here is jumping on the " must be a cheater" boat which for right now is unnecessary. Talk to her, OP and then decide where to go from there don;t just listen to the Hive Mind reaffirming your fears. I think that's what she did. We had a fight on holiday and nearly broke up and so she updated her profile with her most recent photos.

Which I happened to take.

caught my girlfriend on dating site? | Yahoo Answers

I really appreciated your update and I'm glad you're scaling back for the moment. You have every right to be suspicious and you have every right to ask her to delete that profile. If this is someone you're considering marrying you deserve an explanation. Honestly, I'd probably avoid telling her about the tracking thing and only tell her you saw her match. As for the tracking unless it's an emergency just don't do it!!

It'll be hard but relationships are about trust and you need to start building it back especially if this turns out to be a one off deal.

Want to add to the discussion?

I wish you luck and hope it's nothing more than a temporarily jilted lover situation and that you guys can move past it. I'm a lot calmer about this now thanks to you guys. Whatever I decide to do, if anything at all, I'm in a better place to handle it. Although, if they were notification emails, she could have easily just gone to the site and checked them there.