Some of the feeling is physical like butterflies but mostly it is psychological. Just being around the other person, or even knowing that they are there, makes you feel happier. It's been a good few years together but I still get butterfly's every time I get to see my SO. We do only see each other a few times a month and mostly for weekends but I get such a deep excitement to see him and be near him. I don't have much emotional connection with anyone. When I do it's fleeting - I feel emotion towards someone for a few hours then it's gone, and even then it just feels shallow and kinda fake.
Most of the time I feel pure apathy. I only ever feel strong emotional connections to others when I take drugs like stimulants, empathogens, and psychedelics. This is not some "normal male thing" though. I'm fully aware I'm fucked in the head.

My emotional reactions to the world around me and events in my life are almost entirely numbed apart from occasional short bursts. Sometimes I feel anxiety but this is always caused by me getting caught up in my own head. Oh yeah it is some type of depression. I've seen multiple psychiatrists about it. I'm on ADHD meds currently and they make me feel feelings and motivate me to actually do shit. My emotions are still generally pretty shallow, but they disappeared completely on traditional antidepressants while the amphetamines they hand out for ADHD actually give me some type of emotion.
There is a theory about dopamine being key to depression that involves apathy rather than intense sadness so that makes sense I guess. Then with the anxiety I just take benzos when I need them, but never daily, this way I've not become addicted.
It's a weird thing though, because lacking a deep emotional response has some good sides to it as well. So while it is very empty not feeling much, there is power in it as well. I'm not emotionally driven like most people and since my emotions are controlled chemically I can easily turn most of them off and on like a switch. That's a pretty useful skill. Being cold and logical has its place in life.
One of my friends describes me as "amoral. Still, it's kinda depressing I can't really feel proper emotions or connect to other people without drugs and even then not really. But hey depression is depressing, what else is new? Pretty much all my emotional responses are faked which means a great deal of my external personality is faked as well. And you can't really talk to people about this stuff, even with my family because they seem to think it's their fault, so I just hide it and go about my life making up different personalities based on who I'm talking to.

I think you may have depression cause you described a previous version of me from high school. I did not feel emotion or any connections with people. I pretty never got excited, joyful, enthusiastic, or even sad. The few times i did have emotions they were anger, disappointment, and the occasional butterflies in my stomach but those wouldn't last and made me think i was only infatuated and it was in my head rather than real emotions.
I did eventually get out of it. I give part of me feeling empathy towards me having experimented with drugs in order to feel something and it worked. THis lack of feeling can be both good and bad but ultimately i'm happy i got out of it instead of just being numbed to the world.
LSD did change my mindset, as I believe it changes the mindset of anyone who uses it, but it certainly didn't make the depression disappear once it wore off. It gave me to push to seek help and i eventually learned that i was bipolar. But something about it made it easier to handle and after working on myself i've been able to find beauty in my depression now that i feel emotions like sadness.
How to encourage emotional intimacy and build a strong relationship
I can agree with that. Psychedelics are like a therapy session and they definitely help you work through things. And I agree there is some good in not feeling emotions considering how bad some of them are, and considering how easily some of them can be abused by others too. For psychedelics, I always tell people that my experience may be different than what they might go through. It's different for the individual and what is going on in their mind at the time. Either way you will deal with your emotions both on the surface level and any deep feelings you have.
Don't abuse the session and remember that it will end, so learn from it and enjoy it. There was a brief period during my teenage years where my emotions were all over the place, as is normal for teenagers.
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But other than that yes. Even when I was a kid, I virtually felt no emotional connection to anyone. Like I said in response to your other comment, I care for my friends and I treat them with empathy even when I have no emotions pushing me to do so. However when we hang out we almost always take drugs so my emotions are switched on when I'm with them. And I guess my brain also associates the activation of emotions with my friends as a result of this.
I want to emphasise how much those friends mean to me. Keep in mind what I am essentially saying to them with my actions is "I don't usually feel anything, but when I do feel things, I want to be with you. Empathy is a subset of emotional connections so the same rules apply. Unless I'm on something I don't feel it often, and usually when I do feel it it's shallow and fleeting. When I'm on my medication amphetamine it's still fleeting but the emotion feels deeper than usual, probably what would be considered a normal level but obviously I have no way of knowing that for sure.
What is emotional intimacy?
Before anyone starts screaming "u a sociopath" I operate by a moral code which heavily emphasises being good to those who are good to me. Assuming you treat me well then I will treat you well back even if I don't have any emotionally driven push to do so.
Much of this is because I enjoy being around my friends. And yes I said enjoy, because when we hang out the main thing we do is take drugs, so I feel connected to them. The majority aren't murderers, violent, mean etc. I'm not saying you're one, I'm just sayin' May I PM you? No means no and that'll be the end if you don't want to discuss anything further. I doubt I'm a sociopath.
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The clinical definition requires a criminal record and violent behaviour anyway doesn't it? I don't quality for either of those. But yeah feel free to hit me up on PM. I mean I hate to get all armchair psychoanalytical, but was your mom really distant? I was never close to my dad, and I think that's a big part of why I sometimes have a hard time making friends with other guys. The first time I remember my mom giving me a hug was when my parents dropped me off at college when I was And there we have it.
I feel you man. The reality of human development is that our first relationship with the opposite gender is with our parents. The weight of that is massive, but not insurpassable. Unfortunately I have no idea how to accomplish this. I've made some gradual process but I don't have any close male friends and I probably never will.