There were shrubs and well-kept bushes around that area. So he pulled me behind a bush, right in the line of sight of the guardhouse, and offered me sex. I immediately got the heck outta there and never saw him again. Needless to say, I was off Tinder for a while after that. We settled with splitting the bill, on one condition; he gets drinks later.

It was a double date down to Danga Bay in Johor. I told her to slow down, she sped up instead. We blew by a cop car and the blue lights came on, obviously we got pulled over. She was rude to the cop and got a ticket for it. We were relegated to the back seat, she was upset.

I tried to comfort her by offering to pay for half the fine even though I told her to slow down. I took my attention away from her for a second to put down a drink and that was when she gave me a backhand slap to the face. So, the rest of the drive was a bit awkward because I barely knew this girl and she just slapped me in the face. No reason given, btw. I gave her a talking to on why that was wrong, but she never explained why she slapped me. I hooked up with this guy in the wee hours of the morning before work for him and class for me — it was like 6am, I got there and we started kissing.

All I knew was I tasted it and damn near died. Sheila was back in town because she was on parole from an embezzlement charge.

Grace was on parole for second degree manslaughter , pled down from murder. Her second trip through the system. Grace had followed us all night , and beat up the doorman to find out which apartment we were headed for. The doorman called the police, explaining their seemingly rapid arrival. I was released, but both Grace and Sheila went away with the officers , heading back to prison for various parole violations. So when he moved to London, we finally went on a date. I was super nervous, so I had some Dutch courage before… Maybe a bit too much, then carried on drinking once I met up with him.

I was holding it all in my mouth, but so much vomit came up that it just exploded everywhere. Then he passed me the cup where I continued to vomit after I had covered his penis with sick.

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The guy I was talking to seemed nice enough. We were chatting about politics which I studied and seemed to agree on a lot, so I was expecting a certain kind of personality when we met. He asked me out for that weekend and kept bragging about how much money he was going to spend. When we met up, he was thrilled to inform me that we were going to Pizza Express. We were seated and he proceeded to tell me about his day at work — throwing around six figure sums of money and telling me about asshole clients.

About 20 minutes in, he finally asked about my day. I replied, and he found a way to talk about money again. We ordered, and I got water. He commented on my choice, reminding me that he was paying, and insisted that I order a drink. He interrupted, pulled out his ID and said the drinks were all for him.

I was getting ready to find an excuse to leave , but the food arrived and he started talking about silly stuff he did as a kid. I passed our waitress on the way out, and suggested she get someone else to take him the bill before he decided to leave without paying. I was making out with this guy on the side of the road. Things started heating up and I gave him a blowjob. The police caught us and I just said we were just kissing.

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We were both shocked. I found out that he had given me a different name, the car was a disability car and that he was a carer for his mum. We started off on a good note. She was on time. I was on time.

She liked weird fantasy books. I liked weird fantasy books. Things were going well.

At the end of the date, she leaned in toward me and we kissed. It was one of those beautiful, floating-on-a-cloud type of kisses. I think she meant it to be a playful, innocent sort of bite. Instead, she took a chomp out of me. I felt like she was trying to bite my lip off. Needless to say, I shouted in pain. My lip was suddenly bleeding heavily.

I pulled away quickly, but not before some of the blood from my lip got into her mouth. She instinctively spat the blood back out on me. It landed on my face and shirt. A little landed in my eye, stinging. Not exactly what I needed to hear as I desperately cratered my bleeding lip. I grabbed a bunch of napkins and stuffed them in my mouth.

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When I looked back up, she was gone. We met on a Tuesday night. Stayed up all night drinking and talking. I sobered up a bit, we went to his bed, he fell asleep mid-BJ and I went to sleep for about 45 minutes. Then, I got up, went to work with my first hangover, had an awful day at work because of said hangover, then went back to his place that night.

He had made me a key to his place. After I had met him once.