Yet, what is it about a married or the so-called 'committed' man that attracts women? Is it the thrill of being the 'other woman'? Or just the promise of love? Dr Kamal Khurana, a marriage and relationship counselor explains, "Women who fall for married men are usually seeking attention and emotional support.
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Since married men seem to be more experienced and mature, they get attracted towards them. Owing to their experience, married men understand the emotional needs and desires of women better than their single counterparts.
How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man
If you have convinced yourself that his family would never come to know about it, think again. If they do, you would have to deal with the guilt of inflicting emotional pain on his spouse and kids, besides hurting yourself. It's important to consider that there are many people involved in your relationship, than just the two of you. Also, dating a man who's married may entail many restrictions such as not being seen in public places together or being with him only when he can find free time away from his family or sneak out and meet you.
Even more difficult can be living with the bitter truth that you are sharing him with his wife. Samvedna Thakur name changed on request , 27, who works in an advertising agency in Delhi claims, "I have been dating a married man for the last two years. We work in the same office. I've tried to break up with him several times but have failed in doing so. I am aware of the consequences if his wife finds out about our relationship.
I also know that I am his second priority, but I am so emotionally attached to him that I'm not even being able to find an eligible man for myself and get married. We have been together for a year.
Recently, he confessed to me that he's married and is not happy with his present relationship. He said he doesn't want to cheat on me, but can't divorce his wife either. I've been trying to forget him since then and call off the relationship, but I am not being able to do so. Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and consultant says, "There is usually a lot of guilt associated with such relationships.
So, when you are in a relationship with a married man, it's important to analyse the emotional need that the man is being able to satisfy. Then see if you can get it elsewhere, apart from the married man.
5 lies women tell themselves when they're dating married men
It's important to have a support system, otherwise it can be even more damaging for the woman as it could be emotionally taxing. An important question that you need to ask yourself is - 'Why is he in a relationship with you despite having a family? It is important to evaluate and assess the benefits and drawbacks of such a relationship. You may be hoping that your man will leave his family for you so that you both can live happily ever after Assess whether the man you are dating is pursuing the relationship because he loves you or he just because he wants to take advantage of you.
Poonam Tiwari name changed on request , 34, who works with a multi-national company in Noida adds, "I am in love with a married man who has a son. I am married too and have a daughter. Mine was an arranged marriage, but after a year, lot of differences started creeping into our relationship.
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I met this man though a common friend and realised that he was the one for me. Being a wife and a mother, it isn't correct on my part to be dating a married man and giving up on my marriage, but I think our ultimate goal in life is to be happy, isn't it? What's the use of being in a relationship that gives you pain and suffering? The emotional turmoil While some women dating married men may find happiness eventually, most of these relationships end up leaving you feeling lonely, used and neglected. A relationship exists because of mutual trust and commitment.
In extra-marital affairs, you can't expect to get any of these. Most women know it by instinct, but not surprisingly many fall for it. You may find yourself alone more often than you'd like because his family will always come first. Moreover, if he is cheating on his wife to be with you, what's going to stop him from cheating on you? I met her even before I got married and proposed to her. But she said she wasn't in love with me. So, I didn't tell my parents about her and they fixed my marriage with another girl.
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Gradually, she realised that she loved me, but it was too late to call off the wedding. I am happy with my marriage, but can't forget my ex. Susan is the successful owner and operator of four metropolitan home design studios. She's attractive, intelligent, and confident. Susan has been asked by close friends and family who are aware of the affair what drove a successful, attractive, intelligent woman to start and continue a relationship with a married man for nearly three years?
When a married man courts a woman, he takes a huge risk—a risk that reveals he wants her very much. His time with her, whether texting, secret coffee dates, or time spent in her bed, reveals a commitment much deeper than the single men she has been with. The single men just made a date. And most single men confess they are initially very careful not to appear too interested, lest they find themselves headed for a commitment they're not ready for. The intimacy they share, the illusion he creates, is tremendously mesmerizing.
She may perceive it as his commitment, an investment in their relationship. It may feel precious—something to be guarded and protected, nurtured. But common sense will kick in. For others, the game goes on—informed by these widely held opinions. Infidelity rates are somewhere around 50 percent for men. Right" away from his wife—even if it means taking an increasingly tenuous emotional risk. If women like Susan are very fortunate they'll learn more about the behavioral statistics of men who cheat before they decide to deepen their emotional risk.
In comparison to married men who cheat, the majority of women who enter into affairs with married men report that they do so because they are in love or falling in love with him. There may be a vast disconnect between what Susan is thinking and what this man she thinks is the man of her dreams is thinking. It may be morally or ethically wrong; it just depends who you ask.
Dating a Married Man ? Read this To Know the Complications
But this article is not about judgement. It's simply about understanding our natural tendencies and their origins. If a woman in Susan's position digs deep enough into the infidelity blogs and self-help guides and finds these facts, she may just save herself before he ends the relationship. Yet we talk everyday. He has 2 kids with his wife and they have been married 17 years. I have never dated a married man before and i told him i had no intentions on being with one!! Totally against everything i stand for but what do you do when he's everything you need.
He calls my kids and ask them how there day went at school, keeps them in line, sings to them, and they love him but never met him. I on the other hand love him but i do see other guys to keep me from falling head over heels. He dont tell me sweet nothings but i can always tell through his actions that he do love me as well. I have nothing but respect for him and he has respect for me.