Then there are the other side effects of collapsing nostrils, suffered by the likes of EastEnders actress Danniella Westbrook and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, kidney and respiratory failure, strokes, gastrointestinal complications and mental disorders. So why on earth would my GP friend join the ranks of coke users, inanely repeating themselves and looking like warped versions of AA Milne's Tigger, bouncing around jerkily with runny noses, bulging eyes and sweaty skin?
If you look carefully when you're out in a bar or pub - or even at your office - they're easy to spot. Users are the people who think they're the life and soul, sprinkling their conversation with sparkling wit, when actually they are unable to focus on anyone or converse with any sense. They will also be making regular trips to the bathroom, and if they're not, they will suddenly get so paranoid-that they are even more of a nightmare to be around.
That was certainly true of Clare's lover, Trevor, a fiftysomething who thought he was still a bit of a rocker. Trevor was an eerily thin, cheating, flaky liar who, when he wasn't high, was tired and depressed - classic cocaine side effects. While the drug gives women the libido of a nymphomaniac, too much of it can have the opposite effect on men, so Trevor was also a failure in the bedroom and could not give her the baby she desired.
OK Cokehead and Other Dating Apps for Dopers
She finally ditched him after he turned violent thanks to the drug and broke her arm - and her heart. Such bitter experiences have convinced me it's impossible for a non-user of cocaine to date a user. The world of the "cheeky line" has all the unfortunate aspects of a secret society, a destructive third person in any relationship. My New Year's resolution of was giving up men who use cocaine and, yes, I have been single ever since. But this is not because I never leave the smart enclave of clubs in Chelsea where one might assume you'd find scores of stereotypical cocaine users.
On the contrary, my standard nights out are in pubs visiting my school friends in north and east London, and my weekends are spent with my university pals in towns around the country. As well as the handsome handyman-I also recently had to turn down the advances of a cute trainee chef because of his hideous drug habit. Today, at 30, I find it easier to bring it up in conversation on the first date - always in a jovial way but so they know I'm serious.
It's rare when I've made my stance clear that a man will bother to call me again, although I once almost wavered with a beautiful boy who got persistent and with whom I felt a massive spark of attraction. However, the memory of being let down on a number of occasions, including a birthday not so long ago, by an amour who was off doing cocaine instead, remains too fresh in my mind, and for self-preservation's sake, I know I must keep it that way.
Cocaine use is so widespread that I have been unable to find a remotely attractive, decent male who doesn't snort the stuff. The very fabric of UK society is in serious straits, thanks to this snowstorm. On a wider scale, as the film Traffic shows, the cocaine trade is handing over money, power and legitimisation to the most violent and corrupt forces in Latin America. UK users, no doubt a significant number of whom are card-carrying Amnesty International children's charity supporters, are also causing the death of children.
It is not Cambodia or Afghanistan that has the world's highest rate of injuries due to landmines, but Colombia, where insurgents from the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia plant them to protect the coca fields and processing labs that produce the drug. It is time for an anti-cocaine crusade led by a politician or a personality with all the evangelical fervour associated with the ecological or world poverty cause.
OK Cokehead and Other Dating Apps for Dopers | KINDLAND
But can you see Bono or Bob Geldof campaigning to cut off the import of cocaine. Not very cool, is it? And as for government: David Cameron has notoriously kept his mouth shut on drugs, and in the wider political sphere, well, just remember that a couple of years ago, the toilets at all three party conferences all tested positive for cocaine.
So no, I won't be holding my breath waiting for the day when cocaine is neither cool nor ubiquitous.
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Sorry, that got dark pretty quickly. Through the sea of faces and fellow festival goers, you see her. She smiles at you.