The tried-and-true bond of long-term relationships isn't a fleeting sexual fizzle but mutual upbringings and experience, or assortative mating in academia speak [source: Mutual attraction and interpersonal chemistry are merely the set dressings that transform a platonic relationship into a loving one for the long haul. The Westernized notion of marrying for love and passion might actually be an example of the blind leading the blind. Caught up in the dizzying sparkle of the moment, people might not realize that the foundational aspects of long-term relationships are missing and look before they leap over the threshold into marriage.
And while the lovelorn might have an ideal list of qualities they believe add up to their perfect partner, research suggests that those must-haves might be off-base [source: A study published in in the journal Evolutionary Psychology highlighted a disconnection between the types of partners participants idealized and the specific qualities they sought out [source: Dijkstra and Barelds ].
Psychology Test Meets Modern Day Matchmaking
Whereas men and women described their dream dates as having a similar personality, the components of what they were looking for -- conscientiousness, extroversion, stability -- were more complementary, leading the researchers to conclude that people may lack self-awareness in understanding the type of person who would best suit their needs. On the other hand, romantics can take heart in a analysis of online matchmaking published in the journal Psychological Science. Virtual matchmakers pair up profiles on the basis of complementary personality traits and interests, but lead author and Northwestern University psychologist Eli Finkel found the algorithms lacking [source: No wonder, according to U.
How to find The One?
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According to a recent Pew survey , 31 percent of all American adults 63 million people know someone who has used a dating Web site, while 26 percent 53 million people know someone who has gone out with a person he or she met through a dating Web site. You ask a friend, how do you know when this is it?
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Another friend professes to know. However, this friend has been in two failed marriages and now is in a fleeting lust-driven state. Finding that special someone is leaving the realm of poetry and moving into the realm of science.
As professional matchmakers compete for customers, the battle has intrigued psychologists who study the mating game. In fact, more and more matchmakers, to keep up with and compete with their matchmaking peers, are turning to the science of compatibility to bolster their intuitive abilities.
The Science of Love
Researchers have consistently shown that individual personality factors such as sociability and desire for closeness have a powerful effect on the quality of marriages. In addition, the link between marital quality and the similarity within married couples in terms of personality, attitudes and beliefs has also been demonstrated through research. Matchmaking was certainly one of the peripheral functions of the village priest in Medieval Catholic society, as well as a Talmudic duty of rabbis in traditional Jewish communities.
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Today, the shidduch is a system of matchmaking in which Jewish singles are introduced to one another in Orthodox Jewish communities. Matchmakers trade on the belief that romantic love is something akin to a human right , and the modern online dating service is just one of many examples of a dating system where technology is invoked almost as a magic charm with the capacity to bring happiness.
The Science of Love & Matchmaking
The acceptance of dating systems, however, has created something of a resurgence in the role of the traditional professional matchmaker. Those who find dating systems or services useful but prefer human intelligence and personal touches can choose from a wide range of such services now available. According to Mark Brooks an online personals and social networking expert , "you can actually find people who are compatible, and this is a major advance that is going to keep the industry alive for the upcoming 50 years". In Singapore , the Social Development Unit SDU , run by the city-state 's government , offers a combination of professional counsel and dating system technology, like many commercial dating services.
Thus the role of the matchmaker has become institutionalized, as a bureaucrat , and every citizen in Singapore has access to some subset of the matchmaking services that were once reserved for royalty or upper classes.
The Matchmaking Institute is the only school for matchmaking in the US, established in that is accredited by the state of New York, providing certifications to matchmakers from all over the world. The Various academics and practitioners in sexology and marriage counseling have developed matchmaking methods with the goal of maximising its success.
For example, profiles produced by personality tests can be evaluated for compatibility. In contradiction to social networking solutions, real meetings between business people are in focus. Trade fair organisations e. Following the inspiration of dating sites, some online B2B networking platforms developed advanced business matching solutions enabling relevant business partners' identification.