So when the lady who was scanning me asked me if I was sure I was pregnant, I mean I just did not understand what she was saying. So I mean I thought I was 14 weeks pregnant. I probably could've understood if she'd said the baby's died or there's something wrong with it. But when she asked me if I was sure I was pregnant I just, you know, I just couldn't comprehend what she was saying.

And then she showed me a picture of the womb and there was nothing there.

It was, I think I was in shock for about a week, I just sort of couldn't understand sort of what had happened. Did your husband come with you to the scan? No, he didn't actually. I mean, we've always been, you know, sort of quite independent, and I actually just went with my sister.

I didn't, I suppose that's one of the sort of, it was the sort of first example, I didn't see it was like a sort of massive thing. Even though I was definitely nervous, because I thought, you know, it might have died or something, you know. It might have gone wrong. But I definitely wasn't prepared for what had happened to have happened.

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And then I called him and, you know, he came along and was then with me until I went home. But I think it was just the emptiness of the whole experience afterwards. You feel sort of numb with kind of disappointment and upset. And I think because I feel so dreadful in early pregnancy that it completely stops my life, so you feel like you've had - not that it's been wasted - but you know, I can't do anything, I'm just constantly sick, you know, just feel terrible, and you just feel so let down. You just think, 'I've gone through all that for nothing, and I've got to go through it all again if I want to get pregnant again'.

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So it feels like quite an upheaval to get over that sort of, those feelings. And then I knew that this isn't right. And then she did an internal scan and she said - she first, when she couldn't, she said, "Oh, I can't, I'm, I'm" - I can't remember how she phrased it but she didn't say in an alarmed way, "Ooh, there's a problem," but she did say, "Oh, I'm having trouble. Would it be OK for me to do an internal scan? So she explained when she thought, what size the fetus was and so how old it was when it had died, and offered me a photo and said, you know, she gave me a bit of information.

And then after that I saw a GP as well, but that was obviously partly because there was going to be a procedure involved to, you know, I went into hospital the next day.

Nuchal Translucency Scan (11 Weeks - 14 Weeks)

But she, the GP then explained what the, and they were very, I think it was dealt with in a very sensitive way then. It was very supportive. I think it was handled as sensitively and as kindly as it could have been, I think. It's more that before I had the scan, knowing what the chance, knowing that information about what the chance of miscarriage was. And that's a difficult, I can see how for a GP that's hard, if I go and I say, 'I've found I'm pregnant,' and to say "Well, you know, this is, you'll have a scan then but you must be aware that" - I know that's really hard and that people - when I've just said that, you know, I was feeling so elated and that it was very sort of mundane, but actually they could've explained why they were being quite mundane about it, I think and just sort of saying, I don't know, I think I mean, you know, and had to hare sort of, like - I don't know, what is it?

Two hundred miles down the motorway, feeling absolutely like ghastly, you know. Because they were not expecting any problems neither of these women had their partner with them, although both had taken a friend or relative instead and were glad not to be alone. One of them explained how she knew straight away from the sonographer's behaviour that something was wrong, even though she was supportive and tried not to make her anxious. She was given a photo to keep. Another mother who had paid for a private scan was touched that the staff returned her money when the baby was found to have died.

A dating scan cannot usually provide an assessment of the risk of the baby having Down's syndrome, but occasionally it can detect very obvious problems. This is something people did not feel well prepared for. This meant the baby had more fluid than expected at the back of the neck.

Your 12-week pregnancy dating scan

As far as I can remember we had no discussion at all, but I personally felt that I wouldn't go for any screening barring a scan. I had no blood tests or - yeah, but we hadn't entered any discussion. It hadn't entered our minds that anything would be wrong. In thinking you'd go for a scan but not for other screening, were you kind of separating out the purpose of a scan?

Yeah, totally na've about it, about the whole process. As far as I was concerned going for a scan was just to get a photograph and just to check the number of weeks. I wasn't aware at all that it was looking, intent on looking for any problems. I wasn't made aware of that, and I just wasn't aware of it. Is that a common perception, do you think, when you talk to friends? I think so, I think most people just happily go along to their first 12 week scan just thinking it's a purely a dating scan.

It's called a dating scan and you don't enter into any discussion beforehand about what they are actually looking for, and what can be picked up by a scan. We went along together. We were just quite happy, just joking and laughing, saying, 'Oh, hopefully this is, you know, not - we're not going to have many visits to the hospital', because neither of us really liked hospitals. And we got there and were waiting in the waiting room, went for the scan and the first thing I noticed was just it just wasn't a very pleasant place.

It sounds ridiculous, but the wallpaper was hanging off and the curtains were, you know - it was not a, it didn't feel particularly pleasant.



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We were scanned by a, I think she was a student scanner who immediately said, 'I've got to go and get someone else. And we said no. And then she immediately said, 'Oh, I've got to go and get somebody else' and we presumed it was to do with her being a student. And then a man came in and scanned us, and said, 'I can't see properly,' and I think at that point I said, 'Is there anything wrong? It's got an arm and two legs - it's got two arms, two legs and a head. It must have been while they were gathering people.

You know, they must have spotted something and it was while they were gathering people together and making appointments with consultants and things for me. But I was just, we were just stranded in the waiting room, drinking water. And what was going through your head, how far did you think, 'This is normal' or think, 'This is something wrong'? I wasn't totally thinking, 'There is something wrong here', because I hadn't, it was the first scan I'd ever been for, so I wasn't, I wasn't totally aware that there was something wrong.

Now, of course, I would be, and talking to friends and family, you know, they've all been through similar scanning processes with their babies and I just, I didn't realise how far something had gone wrong, really. Had he talked to you much during the first session that you had with him? He was quite, he was very, very quiet. But I thought that was normal, so yeah. He hadn't said that he was going to be quiet?

No, he hadn't said anything, no. I wasn't aware of how scans work, and no, I just thought, I did, I had a slight inkling something may be wrong, but in all honesty I thought it was how a normal scan would proceed. And what happened when they called you back? Again, I think it was him doing the scanning, but I was introduced to a midwife - no, a Sister - who was there, and there was a few other people in the room.

12 week pregnancy dating scan: What do I need to know?

And then I think they immediately said then, 'We think there's something wrong with the baby. It was the Sister, who was quite comforting, came up to the bed and held my hand and said, 'We think there's something wrong. It could be an indication of any number of problems, [um] but there is something wrong with your baby. It later turned out her baby had a serious chromosomal condition Edwards' syndrome , and the couple decided to end the pregnancy. A mother who did not discover until 20 weeks that her baby's brain was not formed anencephaly had since heard that the condition can sometimes be picked up at the dating scan, although it was not in her case.

She would have preferred earlier diagnosis. And how has it affected your feelings about screening now that you're pregnant again? Did you do anything differently or. Yeah I feel that, you know, obviously it's opened my eyes about the triple test. I had the triple test. I'm not so closed minded about that amniocentesis or anything like that, or anything that they can do during pregnancy to find out, you know. Obviously it would worry me. There would always be a worry in the back of my mind if I had to go down that road whether it would harm my chances of this pregnancy lasting, but it wouldn't close my mind off to it, because it means that, it makes me more aware and more in control if I know than if I don't know.

Because if it, the not knowing is the thing that hurts more than, you know, the being in control. Finding out that, you know, talking to the person, the head radiologist in [city] who dealt with neural tube problems, he said that it could have been picked up from 12 weeks, at the dating scan, if it was being looked for.